World inside the Womb

How complicated it is when we think deeper about the complexities and intricacies of the works god had done in this Human body, may be that's why some people calls it, gods master pieces. How efficiently he created men for women or vise-versa which kept this world alive for this long. Reproduction, the process i have written in my bio notes that took only a few lines to explain it but to experience it, even though not completely(thats true), but still the first steps that i had gone through was incredible.

Destiny Faith and Fortune do exist. One should be completely capable to have it from the start to the end. i dont know if it was about that tiny soul or it was my misfortune. But that little one who took its place in my womb had only a life that last for 8 weeks, i wish it could stay there alive and go a 6 more months further. I realize how happy he/she made both of us and every people around me. and the news of i losing him made me upset mostly because i know how much a good number of people are concerned about us. Its ok. I am absolutely fine now, rather we both are. But that morning soreness that i enjoyed is something that i would never ever forget.  

Being a mom-to-be was like a pass-out from lower grade to upper grade. I understood a dozen things that was in front of me but was blind to see. When i was small, i could never be apart my mother, even for a second. but time to time i changed. Maturity spoiled my innocence. I behaved as if i was a huge rock of intelligence and knowledge. i thought my mother was not enough bright to talk with, about the modernity trends and technology. I hurt her a thousand times for a thousand matters without any reason. I was a fool. I was a fool who kept pride in the mere knowledge about nothing that occupied a portion of my brain. Real thing was something else and it was the truest of all, the compassion and love that she always emitted from her kind heart to me whenever i wounded her.All that happened unknowingly in my life appeared as clear as a crystal and now i feel bad. When i conceived i understood what it was all about a Mother. I had to learn about it. I was an illiterate when it comes to concern and care, but through this one i obtained about a half part of the knowledge about it.

To have a child is one among the greatest boons. i had one for a short period of 8 weeks.some reasons made its life to fall in a blink. i don't want to trail in to it any more. But a thing i gained though this experience is to know all about what a complete mother is and be ready for the next time.

There were great debates on whats important the 'Brain' or The 'heart'..and there are many people who believes Brains the main thing, be practical, think logical and act rational. but a few goes the hearts way, they are the human in human the former is just robots made of blood and flesh. But at times when we listen to both we gets confused, we may think yes brain is the king some other times we thinks yes the heart is wise. Now that i have experienced this i have a clear answer that cleaned my confusion. ITS THE HEART. Brain stops but none dies, but when the heart stops thats it, its the end. Life lies at the center of your chest..i experienced both, the starting and ending of the so called life.. precisely on the first day of the 6th week.. when the ultrasound transducer penetrated me with a hitch i shivered with irritation..the lubricant was ice cold and i struggled to breath in discomfort..but then the screen was turned to me..i saw a black bean shaped portion and the doctor told thats the pregnancy sack, the temporary home of my child within me..she zoomed it to maximum and i saw a tiny line thumping faster than normal..my eyes filled with greatness and love..

I have never heard anyone saying they recognize fetal movement during the early pregnancy, but i did..i felt it bubbling a couple of times and i confirmed it with the doc. the pregnancy sack expands and after a few days they gets heart beat it moves from one end to other end..only a few who try to feel deeper would get to know about it..i was one in it  but i dint had the luck to watch that this time..

Cursed is this era of junk food and artificiality. I dont know what to be complained of, whats the traitor. but this is becoming common. unknown unexpected miscarriages are  no great news today. why? i dont know. Is this world full to accommodate another one? or is this universe out of stock with 'souls'? somethings happening to the entire system. Its a belief that death is "moksha" release from every ties or ultimate liberation. So whats life? Lucifer was cursed and expelled from heaven to earth. Why earth? because the one thing called hell is in earth itself..there are good and bad experiences but mostly it is bad. there is no handicapped or mental or diseased ones in heaven as of my knowledge they all exist in earth. coz heaven is when you have no body just the air of your soul and free to fly where ever you want. If i take it this way its only good that had happen to my child. To face the life is the greatest risk or complication.

I am positive, we both are positive, as we understood that we are the machines to produce lives..and we are strong and healthy so there's no place for worries..as a mother i had a few irritations that i wanted to wave it out in the air..and blow to burst..

My mind has a lot of things stained as a lining on it..i am just taking it out on my finger tips. i believe this will free me. i dont grieve, i dont weep, i dont mourn..i just wanna free me from the questions i ask myself. As we always believe, everything happens for a reason.. but this time my heart dont take it like that, it still matter..this whole thing is a proof to show it..i may find it difficult to explain it over and over so here is it written, next time before you dare to question the hell out of me, read it for yourselves and get lost..!!! :D :D :D hehehe...