Holy Cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Cow!!!!!!!!!!

what you thot??? I am surprised or something??? then you are wrong..

though it is a catchphrase widely used..this post is based on the real meaning a Holy Cow!! hope u all know it very well..we have seen near the temples..especially in the Tamil Nadu region.. the stylish cows in the world..those ornamented ones..u wud see such only in INDIA nowhere else..

In some places in South India.. its also used as a decoy in houses.. so as to protect the place where it is kept and the people in them from evil eyes..
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getting in to the matter soon,

The truly modern and different setup of the office where i work now is the topic..

i know it is the best i deserve in the world.. i am aware of it..but m totally unaware which factor turned me from a white to a black.. something started to absorbed my confidence and energy with each day i passed here.. and today i am just the fritters of myself.. i m just an hollow inside me..

i must confess one thing that this is the one place i have ever seen soo much of ideas and creativeness put together in sucha way that every eyes would startle at first before they are completely inside.. even a pen holder here is something unique.. i admire the brains behind this effort..

and where ever i go i will be an exception.. if not always..mostly..

they have placed the caricatures of every staffs just above their heads on the wall.. it looks so different.. so funny.. that i never found any of the visitor left without a comment on it.. the exception of me here is that.. instead of a caricature of mine.. the thing which has been hung above me is a head of an ornamented HOLY COW!! :)how ridiculous??

i never felt anything while people used to make fun of me.. saying.. "akshaya u looks great in your caricature.." and i gives them a loud laugh to not disappoint them.. :)

gradually i got used to everyone's silly comments and i accepted it as my own image.. :).. it was then after some days i happen to hear the song from the movie "akale".. which has been made from the American classic play "The Glass Menagerie"

a story about an handicapped gal "Laura"..who loved collecting crystal statues.. who was so introvert.. who lived in her own world.. who always kept a secret space in her head for herself.. too shy.. For her, the real world was just an illusion. The private world in which she lives is populated by glass animals—objects that, like Laura’s inner life, are incredibly fanciful and dangerously delicate.

[“She is like a piece of her own glass collection, too exquisitely fragile…”]

[One day her irresponsible brother Tom brings home his Friend Jim for dinner who schooled with Laura and Tom years ago. she gets too shy and nervous that she became an alien in her own house seeing Jim with whom she had a crush during her schooldays..she was petrified to see him again.. but for her disappointment he shows no trace of remembrance..

During dinner, Laura – faint with shyness and anxiety – spends most of the time on the sofa, away from the others.The lights suddenly go out!!By candlelight Jim gently approaches the timid Laura. Gradually, she begins to open up to him. He is delighted to learn that they went to school together. He even recollects the nickname he gave to her: “Blue Rose.”

after so many dark days she started disclosing her mind to someone alive.. Jim encourages her to be more self-confident. he took her hand and started to dance with her. it was a first time in her life some one offers her a chance to dance being crippled legged.. Unfortunately, Jim bumps a table, knocking over a glass unicorn figurine. The horn breaks, making the figurine just like the rest of the horses. Surprisingly, Laura is able to laugh about the situation. She clearly likes Jim. and he declares:

"Somebody needs to build your confidence up and make you proud instead of shy and turning away and—blushing—Somebody ought to—ought to—kiss you, Laura!"

and he kissed!! ]

her frozen complexes melts with the movements of their lips.. as a dream world creature it was too easy for her to slip in to foreseeing about a life with Jim.. a world for just both of them..

Yet, a moment after the kiss, Jim backs away and bends himself after her asking for forgiveness saying he was already engaged to another gal called Betty..

When he explains that he will not be back to visit again, Laura bravely smiles. She offers him the broken figurine .. the horn less unicorn..as a souvenir.

she was broken.. like her unicorn.. so her horn too disappeared..in a hand she gets out of her private world..she learns to fight and live in the reality..

the incident makes Tom regret on how he hurt his dear sister.. he regrets for bringing her to worst of the situation than before which made him leave his house and run away.. he escaped....... but his dear sister Laura was always on his mind......

The final lines by TOM:

" Oh, Laura, Laura, I tried to leave you behind me, but I am more faithful than I intended to be! I reach for a cigarette, I cross the street, I run into the movies or a bar, I buy a drink, I speak to the nearest stranger—anything that can blow your candles out! For nowadays the world is lit by lightning! Blow out your candles, Laura – and so good-bye… "

This is Lauras story.. she was a beautiful unicorn with a single horn.. but i am here a holy cow!! with two sharp big horns.. :) not so breakable as crystals..

dont know when it started growing out of my scalp.. but it really ruined my SELF.. i am some one else.. i cant speak loudly when i am here.. i cant even look at anyone with a straight head.. they have buried me somewhere and i am just a living dead..

JUMP JUMP JUMP...d tHiRd one is UP.. he he.. Munusyyy!!!!

After a gap of one year and 05 months our next bird is fluttering her wings to fly away.. from her years long web of family, relatives, friends and others to a new place.. strange!! As far as we Indians are concerned its a womens new birth.. she must leave aback her till that day things.. her belongings her thoughts her everything even parents.. how difficult..??

it is even absurd that one have to change her shape size looks outfits and even attitude as per the wish of her man.. it really sounds rude but we have to go through!! to take life smoother as a skate.. a women is the axis of life.. it depends on her how a family is gona get in heights.. what ever happens the blame shoots to her always.. so beware!!!! be alert and don't at least blink.. coz the darkness of that second can remain forever... don't worry munnu... m not scaring u.. this is gonna happen /happened for everyone..
i used to wonder why every chicks spoils her fortune worth make up, weeping out over her parents and relatives and even pets while they steps out of her house with the groom..now i learned this is what which makes us frustrated..we are going to sit on top of a pin chair... :)..never expect comfort.. just confront what ever goes on your way... :)..

thats all.. this is reminder to the married ones and an advise to the goin to marry ones.. an advise to myself... :) how disgusting!!

stay tune.. picture abi abi baki hai mere dost... :)

AOL... a different art of Living..

i was wishing from a years time that i must experience something spiritual.. like while.. my body.. gains weight.. i needed my soul to nourish too.. i planned to go to the Shri Aurobindo Ashram in pondi.. but which was left merely as a dream.. i had some of my friend who was ready to accompany me.. but i couldnt make it out.. now.. that am completely running insane.. my positive side of brain compelled me to take a new year resolution that i will do something for the god in me..

it was all a voice.. which i really didnt hear,, .. but my soul was excited.. one fine morning soon when i opened my eyes.. the thought of AOL came in to my mind.. i can say louder any where to anybody.. that i am not motivated by anyone in the world but myself. on the 31st of December i called their office.. on the 03rd of Jan i joined them.. and yesterday they called me up and asked me to go there.. i left office at 6 evening and reached there..

to my surprise i found bunches of young guys and gals.. interacting to each other,, like i have never seen in my life.. everyone was so much lite at heart.. not even a glare of upset in them.. full of confidence.. i could see in their eyes.. an all clear mind..

on the very moment when my foot touched the floor of that hall.. they all called me by my name.. akshaya welcome.. i was surprised that they all knows me ven with out seeing me and was awaiting me.. i was asked to be seated in between them.. for a while stopped conversation was started again.. and one by one.. asked me what i am doing and all.. i noticed a guy bending before another guy with a long hair.. both looked young.. the long haired guy placed his hand tight on the other guys head..as if he was giving blessing..i asked the girl just next to me what that is .. n she told.. nothing but giving blessing.. giving the happy elements to the guy bended down.. things are really strange.. then i saw the guys in the group started to go in side another room one by one..

and when my turn was up with out my knowledge everyone loudly announced akshayaaaa..

i went inside with shivering hands and sweating foot..i found two chairs just on the middle of the hall. one occupied with a guy, who introduced himself as Ashwin and started to talk to me casually.. asked me how i came to know about this.. and what made me think about going spiritual..he added in between.. that i must answer anything which hits my mind on the time.. :) and the same way i answered everything.. i came out as cool as the climate.. it was the first time.. i think i have spoken so openly to a stranger.. trust me.. but ther was some kind of power inside that place.. i talked to the another gal whom i met on the day when i came to join. her name is Nisha.. she was also a tour consultant.. left her job and came to work for AOL now.. shes happy.. she says.. :) because shes enjoying what shes doin..

i was again seated in the old circle of talking people.. i heard them passing comments making fun of each other.. beating kicking.. :) i m really not in to this kind pranks.. in ma life.. but there i found complete equality..

The another thing i noted there is the way they were wishing each one saying " JAI GURU DEV" .. :).. i found a thing common on every one.. utmost devotion to their guru.. they all looked as pure and lite as a bubble..

some time later i heard something strange from some one in the corner praising a girl who looked weak for her strength.. it sounded like some kind of power healing.. and they do practice the same.. which i really want to experience.. the act of pumping positive atoms from a strong human to a weak human.. i really want to measure my strength.. i m completely unaware about how my inner self would be fed going for AOL.. but sure it will make a good difference..
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THOUGHTS OF GURU DEV

Breath

* Breath is the link between your body and your spirit and your mind



Love

* Love is not an emotion, it is your very existence.
* Here are the signs of love. When you love someone, you see nothing wrong with them.
* When you love someone, you want to see them always happy and you want them to have the best.
* Love is the highest strength, yet it makes you absolutely weak
* Love cannot tolerate distance, and hatred cannot tolerate nearness.
* You can experience love, but you cannot describe it or express it totally.
* Love is beyond sight, touch, smell, taste, and sound.
* When there is Love, there is no ego; ego dissolves like the dew drops with the sun.
* In the company of one who is living Love, you also cant but spring into that Love.
* Love is that phenomenon of dissolving, disappearing, merging, becoming one with.
* Love is that phenomenon of total letting go.
* The seers, the seen, and the process of seeing all merge. The knowledge, the knower, and the known, they all merge, become one & that is Divine Love.

Anger

* In ignorance anger is cheap and a smile is costly
* Make your smile cheaper and you anger expensive.
* The anger of the enlightened is a blessing




Silence

* Silence is the goal of all answers. If an answer does not silence the mind, it is no answer
* Only Silence is complete
* Smiling with all the existence is Silence
* Purpose of words is to create silence.


GOD

* When you know you own God you will not be in a hurry to get something out of God.
* When you have infinite patience, you will realize God belongs to you.
* God does not test you because he knows you completely - your past, present and future
* God is calling you every moment.
* God is the Seer himself. Who sees---that is God
* God is love. Being in love is sharing that love.
* This entire universe is made up of God. There is nothing outside God.
* God is responsibility, total responsibility.


Knowledge

* Be a Gopal. Be a friend in knowledge
* Be a friend in knowledge. Uplift each other in knowledge
* Knowledge is a burden if it does not set you free.
* Knowledge keeps everything fresh.
* In science you have knowledge first, and then faith follows. In spirituality, faith comes first, and then Knowledge follows.
* When you follow fun, misery follows you. When you follow Knowledge, fun follows you.
* Illusion is error of perception and knowing illusion as illusion is Knowledge.
* Suffering is a product of limited knowledge.
* For one who has awakened in knowledge, there is no more suffering.


Freedom

* Break through the barrier of the rational mind and find freedom for yourself
* Freedom is your very nature. Only with freedom do joy, generosity and other human values blossom
* Just an intention to be free makes you immediately free.
* Discipline protects freedom. You can choose to focus either on freedom or discipline, and this makes you happy or unhappy.
* Freedom without discipline is like a country without a defense.



Karma

* When you praise someone, you take on their good karma. When you blame someone, you take on their bad karma
* Performing actions cannot eliminate karma. Only through grace can the bondage of karma be burnt.
* Prarabdha karma cannot be changed. Sanchita karma can be changed by spiritual practices.


Ego

* The "I" or ego in you is a tiny atom
* Ego is separateness, non-belongingness
* The head level is safe for the ego. The heart level breaks the ego. The solve level dissolves the ego
* The inability to communicate occurs because of ego
* Someone experiences bliss, and that bliss, itself, becomes a trip for the ego. So the ego, in turn, destroys the infinity, the joy, the bliss.


Death

* Divinity dwells in the void as well as in celebration.
* Death brings you in touch with the reality of life.
* Wake up an see your life is too short. The realization that life is short will bring dynamism to your life.

Once again the fRoZeN december..

hope my dears are all fine.. errr!! i actually doesn't have anything to write.. the caption says everything..

it was like a rush rain we all lost a year.. now there is only hardly 2 weeks left to enter the new one..

lets as always.. hope the coming year would treat us all better than this..

if i talk about 2010.. i would say.. as it begined while i was on sick bed my complete year upto this time was in a worst condition..

i got hold of so many things which i didn't even thought about.. but lost everything i dreamed for.. yes total disappointment.. thats what 2010 presented me..

but thankful to god that.. the clock clicked so fast..so the calender pages turned..

all these days.. i kept having a single pain in my heart.. thats this that.. i miss ma koothars.. i miss 2009... i miss each and every thing in between us.. i am well aware that thses are the words we are got used to telling..

i wish US a very nice year ahead..

love you..

Life is a winter season..
we all are the flying snow flakes..
we collides each other in a wind..
we flies each other for some while..
laughing..crying..singing.. dancing..
and in a moment gets blown apart in an other hard wind..
we flies and flies and flies to nowhere..
until the first sunray melt us to kill...

i am scared.. we are going ahead to have more troubles.. than today..
we are going to lose more things than yesterday..

The Australian...

Yes its all about an Australians life..

How they reach up in their life..

We sometimes used to get jealous of them.. of their success.. their power.. how they faces situation.. how they handles it..

The fact is.. they are all taught to live like that.. the aussies!!

I would share a piece of knowledge i got from a speech in between prayer at St. Antony's Church..

Hope everybody knows their National animal and bird.. Kangaroo and Emu..

There is an hidden note they kept in it.. its this, that.. both animals have a disability.. both can not walk backwards.. but jut forward only..

same way.. the people are.. they never walk back to the past.. they never go down from heights.. whatever they do.. they will think of what at the moment is going on.. never the shed leaves.. never the good/bad days that left them..

they lives for tomorrow.. they lives climbing... never descends..

lets think a bit about their message..

lets go up in life...

leave the past behind..

lets do good things for us.. and make our tomorrows wonderfull..


love you all..

ONE LONG YEAR!!!

just click on the link below or paste it on the search bar..

Today is Nov 13 2010... the below is the post i posted last year the same day Nov 13 2009... i m just scared... lifes too paining...


http://imperialk4.blogspot.com/2009/11/question-wot-ar-we-destined-for.html

["We are travelers on a cosmic journey,stardust,swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share.This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity."
— Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)....]


love you all... no other words to say... love you all... turning back in lifes bitter than anything ...

Nagme hain, shikwe hain
Kisse hain, baatein hain
Baatein bhool jaati hain
Yaadein yaad aati hain

Yeh yaadein kisi dil-o-jaanam ke
Chale jaane ke baad aati hain
Yaadein, yaadein, yaadein

Bandhan ho to chhode
Darpan ho to tode
Hum sab hain mushkil mein
Yeh dil hai is dil mein
Yaadein, yaadein, o yaadein

Duniya mein hum saare
Yaadon ke hai maare
Kuch kushiyaan, thode gham
Yeh humse, inse hum
Yaadein, o meethi meethi yaadein
Khatti meethi yaadein

Yaadein... the memories!!!!!!

A bite on an Apple pains for a LIFE time..

it was on a sudden.. a new planet took birth with an explosion on a fine day when god was completely on meditation for years..he was interrupted from the peace.. even god didn't realized that it was the chime for his headache.. nothing happened as unexpected as this in his entire time.. with no surprise he found all the angels speeding their wings destroying the colorful clouds up in heaven to reach him from all around..

God stood up with a smile and answered to the frightened questioning eyes- My dear people.. for thousands of years we lived in the harmony of peace and love.. the sound you heard now is the birth-cry of a new planet in the universe which i planned to name "EARTH" and that is a souvenir for all of us that.. even being gods we are up-to face troubles handling creatures called human beings whom i am going to give the same frame as ours.. but not the powers!! Just be cautious.. your free times are OVER!! get busy planing lives for them..

Every angels were returned to their houses with the darkness of disgust on their face..

Among every angels.. the lazy one.. who hadn't even heard the ear- bursting crash and was still immersed in the joy of having the sweetness of a heavenly fruit in blood color.. it was non other than the gods pet.. the meaning of charm- The Lucifer!!

Gabriel(messenger), Michale(miracle), Urim (light) and Lucifer (the dawn-bearer) were the closest of the angels in heaven.. when returning to the garden 03 of them finds their dear friend sitting absent-minded on a tree swinging his legs and playing his golden lyre...

suddenly he bring himself back from the trance and oped his brown thick lashy eyes and smiled sweetly forming a deep dimple on both of his cheeks...three of his friends stared at him in wonder...A special light beamed in his countenance and shone around him brighter and more beautiful than around the other angels...
They stopped marveling him. Urim said to the other two: "how come someone get lost like this that he even dint hear the terrible hammering sound that feared everyone..." They inquired him about it and Lucifer said..."why should we be afraid when we are in the palms of god... he will never let anything to harm us.. we are always in his protection..." having saying the same he jumped off the branch and walked towards the crown of God...

He found the great father... the man clothed in the color of purity with the cotton like long beard up to his navel was sitting eyes closed in meditation again.. he was about to wake him.. but he withdraw his hands thinking he would ask it while supper... and turned to leave but looked a back 3-4 times as if his eyes were attracted to the stern posture of god...

That night Lucifer was the first person who was seated for dinner.god was watching him form the balcony of his suite... he was reading everything as Lucifer was sensing danger...on his future... god gasped and appeared at his supreme seat in a second... he smiled palely and ruffled Luci's head..while Lucifer was just to say something all the other angels appeared on their seats too...

God in at the click of the finger filled everyone's plates with bread and the sweetest of the fruits and their glasses with red wine.. then there was lite laughs.. the music was playing from somewhere..

Lucifer who loves god and has full faith in him was always given a special concern..just like a son..

The dinner was special.. the wine tasted new.. the fruits were sweeter which made all of them drowsy.. Lucifer that day missed his after dinner walk- talk with the father..so GOD... the yawing angels while walking vanished and appeared under their silk blankets...some started to snore.. the bright lights kept on dimming as their sleep go deeper.. tonight the heaven slept early for the first time..

God got up from his easy- chair to kiss every kids good night..and finally reach his dearest angels room.. his face showed that he was engrossed in some nightmare.. his eye-brows shrinked.. god ran his hand on his forehead and as if he is aware of the touch.. he smiled cutely in sleep.. God thought about the purpose of creating Lucifer.. he made him so strong.. he made him intelligent than every one.. he blessed him with the finest beauty.. why?? there was a reason for everything.. even above the sky.. everything happened for reasons..

thinking of the love and care he got back from Luci and thinking of his faith for all his goodness.. gods heart sank.. he dropped a hot drop of tear on Luci's hands... which on the spot evaporated giving him a scar there because of the pain formulated from the pain of god...

he kissed him with his quivering lips which created wrinkles on the sides of his eyes... the thick lashes collapsed tightly..

God after making sure every angles fell asleep.. decided to meet the new born frozen planet.. the frozen ball has now altered to a beauty.. he made himself smaller in size and put his leg on it.. he called it Earth and named everything which hit his sight.. water, rock, mountain, hills, beach, sea, ocean and so on... he was so happy for this new/ sudden creation..he decided to ornate it with trees..and different colored flowers all over it.. designed it in such a way that of the garden in heaven.. and in full satisfaction he turn around to go back... but a voice a different kind of voice stopped him.. it was earths.. she said" God.. i know even though you know things my birth was unpredicted.. i am sorry.. and thank you for clothing me with theses trees as a protection from the suns heat.. but lord they will be destroyed being a shield for me.. it will be good if you send some angels to take care of it.."" god smiled and said.. earth, i have already made plans for you.. soon you will have to host for life on you.. which will nourish you.. and before the time of your death.. all the species gradually vanish from your surface one by one..i will come back later..i have some works to be done.. here.. you have this small birds to keep you entertained humming for you.. a dozen of yellow, blue, pink , green, red, white, violet birds flew inside from the atmosphere on to the trees...

God went back to heaven, sitting quietly on the steps to gods suite.. his face glared distress,,
god: what happened son?
Lucifer: I found a scar on my palm when i woke up from sleep..it pains a lot.. and your indifference from some time ago pains more than that.."
God: nothing like that son. it is just that i am busy planing for earth.."
Lucifer: you have never kept anything from me..then why did you hide the matter about earth from me??
God: nothings there to hide.. you will come to know in the right time..and i need your help to also to plan the plan "
Luci: my creator, great father.. my life is in your hand.. lord if i can be of any use for your plans.. please command!!
God: son.. it is only you i can rely upon in this regard.. because you are the only angle blessed with the highest level of confidence, intelligence and kindness.. it is only you who have to power to sustain to carry on in a bad faith.. it is only you who can do.. anything for the universe by sacrificing yourself.. i am sad to say this.. but son.. that is your purpose of life.."
Luci: Father, please tell me what i must do..
God: Your life ahead for some years is going to be worst in the world. You should be know as just the opposite of mine..you have to transform to what i named 'Satan'. and once the time of earth expires you will be returned to your seat next to me son..without you..nothing will happen..you will be hated by the world.. yet my care will be there with you..
Luci: but lord, why do you want to destroy earth?
God: there is a certain life for everything except we in the heaven.. the earth cannot live longer as the solar system itself will die one day.. if only goodness happens.. things wont change.. the universe will stay still..
Luci: i obey your authority.. when can i start my duty ??
God: in a time of few moments.. this is a secret between you and me.. none of your friends would know this.. just go meet them before going.."
Luci: who ever hates me.. i don't care.. but father.. as much as everyone hates me.. you have to fill the space with love for me.. in that case..i will enjoy getting hated.. because.. as much as people hates that much you will love me..
saying this Luci kissed on Gods hands and looked up smiling at his Father..

according to gods plan about the life in earth.. a new species called HUMAN will be created.. to plow, seed , cultivate and nourish the earth and in the final days to exploit it and bring destruction..there will be a creature which will have the same reflection of god.. masculine..tall.. stiff.. intelligent looking..which he called "MAN" and a soft.. short.. fluffy looking creature with smooth skin.. smiling face.. which he called "WIFMEN".

[He named the man " Adam"-He was formed out of the dust of the earth (and hence his name), and God breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and gave him dominion over all the lower creatures (Gen. 1:26; 2:7). He was placed after his creation in the Garden of Eden (a piece of the same garden in heaven), to cultivate it, and to enjoy its fruits.

Afterwards, the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon him, and while in an unconscious state took one of his ribs, and closed up his flesh again; and of this rib he made a woman, whom he presented to Adam when he awoke. Adam received her as his wife, and said,“This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” He called her Eve, because she was the mother of all living ][extracted from Modern Bible]
By the time god finished creating them..Luci was back after seeing his mates.. he was all ready for the conversion.. his sacrifice.. he was asked to change his cloths to black.. just opposite to god.. with black wings and cruel face.. his beauty was masked with black.. and his face was ugly.. no other angel would turn out to this form except him.. god as well as himself knew it.. so he was happy that he was doing something for god that no one would do.. it was a chance for him to let god know how much is his affection to his father..

God before returning to heaven,, advised Adam and Eve not to eat the apple, and they both agreed with a nod..

It was in that fruit god sprayed all the temptations.. good and bad.. equally..
he could have tell them to have it directly but he didn't. why ?? [that is my question] rather he appointed Lucifer/ Satan to provoke them to have it..

Lucifer appeared in front of Adam n Eva when they were playing , tying to catch a butterfly.. :).. they were so delighted to see someone other than them.. Lucifer called them near.. but they refused to go.. but with his brilliance and the caring throat he brought them in his way.. they started to talk friendly.. suddenly he vanished from the ground and appeared on the branch of the apple tree.. he plucked one apple and started playing his lyre.. which made the couple delighted.. he thought them to play it as well.. in between he asked if they want to have apple.. and both of them looked confused.. he convince the afraid couple that he is gods friend and god wont get angry if they eat it.. he plucked two apples for each one and throw it down.. then is the plan comes.. Eva ran and took hers while Adam was searching for his.. by the time Eva completed the "forbidden fruit".. Adam got his and took the first bite.. then there was thunder storm.. just to make them shocked that they have committed sin.. seeing this Adam got scared and his apple strucked at his throat.. which turn in to a swelling.. Lucifer vanished by this time..

Frightened Eva looked around for the help of Adam.. who had hidden himself behind a tree.. God as planned cursed Eva for having all the pain through out her life for her disobedience.. and even after knowing his clone hidden behind and tree behaved as if he don't know anything.. He protected him.. which is really partial.. and Eva didn't complaint as she thinks she is the sinner and she must go under pain and vain..Eva repented uselessly for all she had done.. Thus women became the idol of SACRIFICE.. since ages women are being cheated.. for the first time through the great father.. Even today.. the same is repeated.. we are non to question.. because it was because of that we are all here..

to dream to sleep to dream!! :)

14 OCT 2010

Exactly at 5:42 am I had been woken up by myself interrupting a mind- blowing dream… I really wanted to have the dream for long time... But I got excited…not realizing that it’s just a dream... I miss US very badly
The location is the new bus station of Kannur district… where I, even after being a native had been just for a single time in my entire life… but trust me… it’s the best in the state…

Me n munnu waiting for a bus… it was a yellowish evening… our faces were lit up with a wide smile… each of us looks each other and blushes in enthusiasm.
We didn’t care the roar of our stomach… we were just waiting for someone… suddenly munnu started to panic I could make out the reason… oh god!! We forgot to take our purse!!  he he he.

Oh no!! no money!! I searched all over our body and I found.. 75 Rs. From somewhere and munnu got a 102Rs... (I don’t understand what it is all about??)
A big ship high white color bus landed in the track just before us… we hold our hands tight… our eyebrows up expressing a – searching for someone style.
There they comes… in a black pants and red and white floral top… our paachu…and…in a brown middy and cream shirt our pangu… wow!! We ran to hug all and we warped ourselves in our hands around us like a ring…

I have no idea…how they both came together… one is in another state and one is in another country… anyway… IK4 please bear with me as this is a dream…where there is no limitation for anything…

Me and munnu was tensed of having our pockets dry… and as if she read our mind... paachu said… gals.. I got something very special for you and she opened her bag and took out a dirty sack which was really stinky and had flies buzzing around… we heard the jingle of coins when she put it down… to our surprise it was full of 5 Rs. Coin and she was sayin in pride…” gals.. Here we have enough money to live our whole life…: D

It was then pangus turn to show out her presents which contained several color chocolates in a box which looked like a small one but you will know the depth of it only once you put your hand deeper…

It was pangu who showed her right hand in a welcome to home fashion … our very next step was in to a golden pained room decorated just like for Christmas… the light everything was golden except the hanging balls and bells in pink and green and blue…
I and munnu was drooped in the exquisite settings of the house. We were then taken to a dining area where we had to climb a red carpeted stairs…and we felt ourselves like celebrities…

The discrepancy in the whole thing I found next is that, the chairs and table was too small for big people like us. I felt like it was brought for a kindergarten… she clapped her hands and an Italian girl appeared with tiny bottles of champagne... tiny like toys. Seeing the same munnu burst in to laugh…so I…
Soon it started to play classic western melodies… suddenly my eyes stroked on two easy chairs placed like lovers , seeing me watching that paachu answered that’s where me n chachu drinks… her face blushed like strawberries… to our shock pangu was finishing the bottles like a robot… and the filthy bottles gathered as a small mountain on the floor…

in a moment the lights went off… and could hear howls from different directions… we both opened our eyes and find ourselves sitting on the floor of the canennore bus station chilled with the night breeze still waiting for our two friends…
Seeing us alone for so long… an old man whom we met at the enquiry came closer to us and said… “The bus you were waiting for has already dropped off all the travelers and embarked on the return journey hours back… there was no ladies of your age in it… may be the dates are different”

Munnu replied “thank you uncle, we are sure of the dates and rather sure of them...whatever happens they will come; because they knows very well that we will be sitting here waiting for them from the afternoon…even if the dates are wrong and we are missin them... they would reach us at any cost from anywhere...

they might just missed the first bus today…

Whom to blame!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whom to blame????????

Some times it happens like we dont have words to say....dont know whom to balme in certain situation...GOD,others or ourselves..

i heard a bad news yestday..its related to sme one i dont even know...but still i can't keep it aside frm my mind...


My frnd Deeps told me abt her frnd who lost her husband ysday morning...The girl lost her husband 2 years back and the inlaws were not at all supportive and she suffered a lot..after 2 years she managed to have a life with a good guy and they got married in Jan 2010..she is carrying..8mnths now..and ysday her husband died of cancer...The disease was detected 2 mnths back wen he suffered frm frequent stomach pain....

wat can console her at this moment..no wordsss

GOD Please help her to with stand this too....

I believe n trust GOD but smetimes i cant find a reason for HIS acts...

Sep 30th 2010

Dont know wat to write..Yesterday was my last day at GME...its more than 3 year i ve been to GME...i still remember the first day and the reason to join ther..and the life after wards....everthng is jus a memory now...

Three years before it was my decision to join there and now i decided to quit the job...I always loved this job to be specific i love this field..still i decided to quit frm evrthing.My mind is going sme where else these days...if i cant do justice to myself then wat is the purpose of sticking on to a job...

As usual i went to office yesterday ..i felt a kind of lonliness through out the day.any how i miss my colleagues @GME...

If i can blame a place, i will say GME is a place where i lost my hope, dreams,love,everything ...everything i wish i could have...

I was alone in the journey back.i was alone both physically n mentally in the journey back...
end to my trn jouny where we enjoyed a lot...frm wer i got my ik4..

i feel lonely even though i have my family,my frnds my ik4 to love n support me...

i donno y iam like this...i should not be like this...i know that..but...