illusion!

i some times doubts wot all happening around me is just an illusion! the past becomes something unreal..even the just gone minute.. you know the journey, the accident our separation..the new job.. is it really d so called reality ??.. or am i struck somewhere in a gap not able to move or .. not able to shout for someones help.. ever since i joined here.. i feels like this is kinda dream.. wot ever happening is just a rapid flow of images.. just like we watch a movie..

i just cant believe myself being this way.. i became a new kinda person.. i m not the person who was so much out spoken.. i m not that person who fights with every one.. i m not the person who worked for myself not for the organization.. this transformation caused that hallucination.. i m not clear but i think so.. :)

i really hate me for bringing negative thoughts in to all of you.. but i dont have any option other than IK4 ..

just think it girls...we really cannot always trust our eyes, or our judgement.. a rose is always good to watch.. it appears to be fine.. beautiful but whn yu try to get closer and tries to pluck it... yu will be wounded by its thrones... the same situation.. i lost ma ability to recognize people frm inside.. i got wot i desired.. but ... its something which is like a bubble gum under my shoes.. so much iritating... i lost myself.. and wots the point in changing a person to fit in some elses shell?? ..ther are rules and regulatons i agree.. but it must be informed me in an official way .. like evrywhere happens they should hav mention all those point s in the beginning itself..

you doubt it right.. yes,,... this is a complaint letter.. since i cant disclose this to any one. and ... since these people got answers for evry thing.. i m not suppose to react.. but i will not act against my conscience..

i want to be independent..i am not a domestic animal to cage me.. :( .. is this all really happening.. i cant trust.. or am i lying some where unconscious and dreaming?? i never was like this... i hate places where people dont accept me as how i am.. RULES!! wot rules.. i am following all rules which i think i must..

"am i awake
or just asleep that...
evrything is..
claded a black..
am i dreaming
am i dreaming
or relaity??
the most sorest??

is it foggy around
am i blind..
am i thinking aback the black
hands and legs left unmoved
lips and eyes
dry and closed
am i dreaming
amidst a forest

lying unconscious??

somebody come
come to me fast
wake me up...
and help me from
this lifeless life..

:( :(