hope we will meet again.. take care!!
i never go that much inside the above clause as i did today..
Life is a vast ocean.. and we are the particles of a wretched ships.. we will be nailed together until its crushed by a giant wave..a turnover in life..
i was totally relived after shifting myself to the new hostel..i set my camp-cot with the bed and pillow provided by the hostel authority..i unfold the bedspread and put the pillow cover..stuffed my luggage's under the cot and took bath.. relax!! its been exactly a month i slept peacefully.. the previous one was located next to a cemetery and we could also see the railway lines through the window.. either of it spoiled my sleep everyday.. the new place was neat.. an old house. the front portion of the house was renovated but the rooms had all the charm of olden times.. the windows and the roof were wooden.. in the initial days there was just me n another lady called mini.. as she had a strange looks i always kept a distance from here even then its was we together who went all the 3 times of the day to take food.. after a gap of 3 days another girl came in.. the room was so spacious so we least bothered about the space we have to share with the new one.. when i cam back from office i found the new girl.. a short one with curly hairs.. unusually i started talking to her.. asking about her whereabouts her studies and purpose.. i was a stranger to myself for being that kind whom i used to admire.. the ones who would ask me with no hesitation.. the kind of girls i met in the previous hostels.. neethu answered me with necessary politeness.. with the way she talked keeping a wall of cautiousness i understood that she was another angle will a burden of problems.. she looked bold which i thought wasn't suitable for her looks as well as age.. life is this some unlucky ones have to be bold like her.. in a few days she earned the love of everyone around her.. she may be a bad console-r but was a good listener and a good distract-er.. she kept us entertained with her experiences.. and we learned that she was a small soldier who was fighting hard with her own faith.. i saw a long lost me in her.. she was 18 and was searching for a job to support her family as i did.. we sooner became so much closer.. the plus point of her is that she never try to dig in to my personal issues so i.. we will just pull over the time doing this or that.. listen to Fm.. make fun of the aunt.. a bit gossiping about mini.. laughing at jokes we throw to each other turn by turn..
on those days when i come back form office with dropped shoulders she would do some tricks to make me jump out of my bed and run aback her.. and when ever she was down i always takes her on my back which in my native calls "taking salt sacks".. and i would walk all the way through the guestroom, the hall way, the kitchen and back to her bed on my back.. she never weighed more than a 25kg for me.. she share her days things with me as i did the same.. i was lite as a wafer when she was around.. on some days when shes desperate having fighting with her boyfriend/ siblings/parents she would sent an sms to me asking if it will be possible for me to get down from the office early.. since i don't want her to feel bad i would try ma best and winds up my work early and we wud take a walk upto the marine drive.. some times we walks silently.. some other times we opened up about the things which disturbed us at that moment.. i learned that- the greatest pain ever discovered is to keep a secret.. if we could ever spit it out to at least one human we ill be happy like an emperor!!
i remember how she rolled inside he blanket when i made faces and scared here.. i remember how she holded my hand when ever we were frightened.. i remember how we steal those friend fishes and chicken livers aunt hid behind the tins of serials/pulses rack in the kitchen..
i remember the day we acted as CBI officers to find out the things about our warden.. there wasn't anything i guess ...but one day we heard the creeping sound of the backdoor which comes only once when someone tried to open it.. we doubted if the aunt had an affair with someone and shes opening it for him.. :-) on some days she used to shout at us ordering us to switch off the lights.. and after 10 we weren't allowed to go to the kitchen.. this made us suspect her more.. anyways we just dumped the matter later..
after some days 2 more girls came in addition.. but they never could tear the bubble and get inside our world.. for us they were some outsiders.. on some days when we feel badly hungry we would stay awake and wait fro the girls to sleep and by midnight we would open up the eatables kit without making any noise and eat under the blankets.. some times the munching sound will some out of my mouth and she would beat me as if shes my mother and i am her child..
i forgot to add.. as she is a small thing i started to call her "peekiri" which has the same meaning.. a small kind.. it really suited her- the mischievous one.. after some months we all had a fight with the hostel people for their greediness and our paths parted.. she went back to her home place and i shifted to some other hostel.. she was a drug for me.. and her being away made me screwed.. she was someone like u koothars who could take my heart so easily .. i kept trying to bring her back.. and again after some months we met.. made some plans and we started staying together..
After coming back.. she wasn't the old childish "peekiri" a bit more matured may be she had confronted some sore things staying home for a few days.. but gradually the frozen aura that covered her, since she went home started to melt... and then she was again the old peekiri.. she being working as a visa agent became finely involved in her job and brought her own issues everyday when she leaves her office as i used to do in the beginning days.. from our new hostel we have been nick named by our roommates a collection of nurses who are working on their first year training after their graduation in nursing.. they called us "Tom" and "Jerry".. the bigger one The Tom- me and the lil one The Jerry- her.. Tom and Jerry.. they says they watch us with the same wide eyes as they watch those animations on the cartoon network.. we really liked them called us that way!!
when she told me regarding her mother coming back from abroad after 3 years i was so much happy for her.. i spoke to aunt Alice..i shared their happiness.. one day prior to the day of Alice aunty's arrival she left hostel saying shes-going to pick up her mom with her siblings.. i sent her with higher excitement.. i enjoyed the laughter in her eyes.. i have seen the pain of missing the women who gave birth to her in that very same eyes.. and i have known her crying secretly at night.. i never interrupted her while she did it for her mother.. coz Mrs. Alice really deserved it.. the tears of missing from her children.. she said she will be going on 10days leave for which she took permission from her Boss.. 10 days passed, in between i called her many times she calmed me saying she would come this day and that day.. but she never came..
i lost hope in her words.. but i knew she would have some reasons which is keeping her sticked on at her house.. last Friday(08 April 2011) she called me and said she would come on Sunday and vacate the hostel on Monday(12 April 2011).. before she go she needed to talk to me she said.. i agreed a kind of emptiness filled my head for an instance.. i feared whether she would reside in the lot several people who livid in my life and left like the cold storms and never came back or even look back.. i don't want her to be that way.. i pledged to myself that i will keep in touch with her through calls or messages.. coz a 'kind' like that so true from heart and innocent is hard to find.. she really didn't required a hint to read my mind.. she was a real mirror..
i waked up early morning and sweat myself running a bit to get the first train(alleppey) but couldn't catch.. i caught the next one our usual passenger train which sprinkled some spices in to my boiling sadness.. the nostalgia is a weird thing.. i couldn't sleep on the berth so i jumped down and landed me on a window seat and started reading a book.. before i reached Cochin she was there with her all packed baggage.. i felt a twitch just below my chest and i intake 3-4 full breaths.. she seemed too small in her black leggings, yellow kurthi and a black and white check shoes.. i found a glare of sadness in her face too.. i am sure she will miss me too.. she in a rush unburden her mind telling me each and everything happened in her house.. knowing all that i will never be able to cling on her and cry to stay back.. i helped her keep her bag over the berth and had a small chat again.. the last word she said was "when will we see again".. i replied "hope we will meet again soon" i waved and she returned one..
i hate railway stations for this.. it always makes us miss someone..
i turned and walked my way to office.. i took my mobile and typed "really" for the first time to her "i will miss you :(" and she gave me a quick reply in the same second "me toooooo :("
we all are sure about some people for example our parents, spouse relatives and "some" close friends that they will be always there in our life what so ever happens.. IK4 is not a part of me but its myself..we are 4 but i never saw it as 4 pieces but ONE so i never felt losing you all.. i miss our days together.. at times i feels a strong urge to see u all.. but never felt i ever will ve to say the above words to u.. that's were it makes a difference.. after i reached hostel on the 12th evening.. what i found was some chocolates a hair shampoo , a Himalaya moisturizer, a fancy comb and a hair clip .. how sweet shes...she was...
At this moment.. i am so sad and i fought back my tears but a few drops defeated me and washed down my kohl which stained an ash color circle on the shoulder of my dupatta..
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