At this moment

At this moment.. i am so sad and i fought back my tears but a few drops defeated me and washed down my kohl which stained an ash color circle on the shoulder of my dupatta..

the only one who can understand oneself is themselves.. thats it.. what ever you do to make someone understand or to convince will remain as some useless scarps..

At this moment.. i want to run away from "this moment"
i want to be mad.. i want to die.. cause at this moment.. i am all alone.. there is no one who is willing to listen to me.. there is no place on this big earth where i can settle down my burdens off my shoulder..

its a pathetic condition.. really..

i want some of my dear ones to call me.. but the same me dont want to talk to anyone..

faces of my father and mother.. it really bothers me.. it always does.. when ever i am atop a building to jump off or with a blade to cut my wrist or with some tablets to swallow in.. anything to welcome death.. those two faces troubles me.. those two faces who brought me to life.. still brings me back to survive.. no one would love me as unconditionally as they do..

i love you mom and dad..