28.4.13

The Perishing Goddess..

My mind was relaxed, it was the hardest thing to escape myself from the cries and sobs and worries and dilemmas and questions and agonies. It kept me working all time and i sorted it one by one..Prayers, the voices of thousands at a time, like a rain, the muddled noise of every single drop crashing together on the earth, but then I had powers, I am a goddess, so they worship me.

I was fascinated with the odor of burnt camphor and the incense stick and ghee..they bathed me using turmeric paste and cows milk..they wore me a garland made of  basil leaves and fresh flowers.. i could feel heaven just under my foot..

I was distracted from the intense prayer that suddenly overpowered the thousand voices running in my head..i opened my eyes to find four sibling in which  one was a women. they were traveling all the way on foot from a little north and they wanted to take a part of me to be installed in their ancestral home. They believed it would be a pride, its a sign of dignity. i saw them through the smoke. Soon the priest came in and started chanting mantras which made me powerful everyday..yes these praises made me stronger..and they are really trained to do it perfectly following every steps intact. with every stanzas he utter my power increased and when the idol couldn't take it any more it emitted out from me filling the 'garbh griha' and then pushing out to all who lined out with their eyes closed spreading their prayers. the way the priests taking care of me really pleased  me and the devotees were granted their wish fast. All done and the priest closed my doors leaving a slit in between the two flaps..I heard the siblings requesting to the priest for my possession for them.

From the 'panchaloha' idol a part of me was transferred to a clay idol and i traveled with them in peace..the throbbing cries and shouts just extincted from my ears and all i could hear now was "help us be safe home fast" from these four again and again in different times and separate turns..they prayed it in silence and i kept blessing them..when they become tired i helped them giving small shades for them to relax. when they are thirst, i blessed them with little streams and ponds..and finally their place amidst the dark of big trees..It was a hut thatched with coconut leaves and the floor was smeared with fresh cow dung. there was children and old people in the house. The hut had lot of sections for the members and a special place with a low wooden stool and brass lamps for me..they chanted manthras and placed me in there clothing ma in a new red silk..i was garlanded and worshiped with lighted wicks and flowers and camphor and songs with claps praising my names. Every one was involved children, parents, grand parents and great grand parents.

The life here is tranquil, they offered me everything and followed the rituals properly. They had very less prayers, most of them had the same. " Mother, help us and our children from flood, earth quakes, diseases and dangers. Bless us with food, water and medicines when required. Bless us with health and long life". I granted them all these. At night i watch over them from the wild animals and harsh wind. They ritualized me every day and my power grown from a flame to fire. Years passed, generations passed. The house spited and families traveled to all directions to settle down. each of them carried a part of my possession from 'mukhya sthaana' wishing to place me in their 'mandhir'. Boys in every generations were thought the ways to perform the ordinance so that they can carry out the ritualistic performances and hence will be blessed with prosperity and goodness in their lives.

the passing away of every old generations take away with them a lot of things. It is no longer the same as before. The patterns of houses changed more forest were threshed to plain lands to build mansions. Inventions  took place and men become greedier and crooked. They become selfish. Soon it started to get prayers for others destruction. humans ate plants less and animals more. demons started to take birth as humans and the tranquility started to get destroyed. They travel in machines rather than on foot or bullock. the sound of the birds and moths and butterflies and squirrels dumb by the trashing roar of buses cars and motor vehicles.

Sooner people lost faith in me and the rituals to me become sometimes to never. They forgot that their glory was a result of their great grand peoples loyal and unreserved performance of worship to me. They prayed only when in need and once i blessed which helped them build a bungalow next to this old hut and this was now the adobe of just me. A few days later i got companies of lizards, spiders and snakes. They no longer take care of me but they have all that i blessed them with. Children played mud cakes in front of me and no devotees lined up. They don't see my misery, a few saw didn't cared to save me. I am their god, i gave them all but they returned me neglect. Yet i forgive them remembering the way their ancestors treat me. But with every day that passed my powers drained. Soon i lost powers to protect them all. A few fell ill, a few youth died, business failed, wealth lost, psychopaths increased, studies failed, brothers fight and the glory diminished. But i couldn't help. I had no enough power to empower them. The then old people alive sensed this. they were the last close to me. They  reminded their sons about it and they started to clean up the room and light the wicks for me every evening at least. They cleaned me from dust and spider webs. but the snakes refuge half of my place building their nests, it peaked like a miniature Himalayas on one side of me. Though the youth of the family don't chant mantras and praises for me they started devoting me with incense stick and lit ghee wicks. They placed their little prayers and I grab my powers and gave them what i was capable of.

To my surprise one among the elder people of the family foresee the danger  that is approaching the family in the near future as in a dream and the worried man consulted a astrologer who advised him to do "Thamboola Prashnam" which is the method of knowing the unknown. This traditional method also helps to predict the future of the family and the members in it one by one. The 'Thamboola Prashnam'  was followed by an even intense method called "Swarna Prashnam" using gold. And each member of the family was asked to reach the ancestral home where me and my fellow reptiles and spiders and cats and crows lives. Every one was warned about the havoc they are inviting by leaving the family goddess in ruins, the priests explained the situation of me and the impact of leaving me this way here further. i heard sudden rise of prayers seeking forgiveness for the fail to take care of me. They were misunderstood that the bad things happened to them was my curse, i wanted to correct them. It was not my curse but it was my powerlessness that made all the bad things happen to them. Skin disease and sight problems that swallowed the latest generation. For years as their ancestors kept worshiping me i had power and used it to be a shield for them protecting from all the negatives that was arrowed to them. Now i don't have that  power and its not me cursing you. I mean no trouble to any of you. This is as a family for me as to you. I belong here and you don't take me as yours.

Fear was stricken in every ones mind. They were all aware of their mistakes and the punishment as they think that reached them. A few of them wanted to help me, a few had no problem and they thought not to waste money unnecessarily. Every member was given a task with regard to uplifting me/my situation. They relieved me from the slither of the snakes. They gave a place of worship to the snakes alone in the farthest corner of the land where the beal tree, banyan tree and the palmyra palm tree(where the legends believe the ghostly women "yakshis" lived) tangled together like a dark wall. I was place-shifted to a temporary hut "balalayam" as they calls it and the old hut where i was brought first was collapsed in the promise of re building it. My ability to read the minds was also gone as i am now just a flame of dim light taken from the "mukhya sthaana". I need you to give my long lost power and the nobility back. chant the manthars, shout the praises i wish you all hear my sob now..

With the unavoiding evening prayers they present before me, the light from the ghee lamp and head bend bestowal of themselves helped me to gain some grace. I blessed them for their small wishes to come true but they never realized it happened because of me. Little by little they were protected from the troubles. but its the modern men, they don't value their own promises. They live for now, they do for now, they always run behind what that's not theirs and let that go  what they have in their hands. They traveled to other big temples, they give offerings to priests and practices. But they spent nothing for me. The work for the new temple paused at the foundations work.

The temporary "balalayam" once shook in a silent earth quake, the wall and the roof cracked. It rain hoarsely in the monsoon throwing the thunder light strike on the earth. It leaked and made me wet. None noticed. My adorn of red silk torn, none observed. I am draining out of my strength more than ever before. and there is no god to help a god. Men creates us and they destroys us. My good times are over and may be this is my time to perish or else they would help me doing their part, i soothed myself. Now that i am empty with the last blaze of my powers i suffer all the misfortunes by myself, yes even gods have to go through bad faith, a bad time..there are many histories about it. I could only watch the ill-fate they receive in the form of bankruptcy, family break ups, diseases, loss, impotence, filth, war, obstacles, death and total destruction . They left me helpless by their deeds..all i can do is to shed a few tears for them but the matter about it is this that..unknowingly my tears becomes a curse for them though i don't wish this to happen to them..

All i  wish is once they know the depth of love and care i have always given to them..

Namastasye..Namastasye..Namastasye..Namo Namah..!!


+Akshaya Dilroop+pooja jith +adhith suresh , +Ashish Jeena+shamitha nishanthi , +sujoy pr+Jithu dancer Jazzrockers+Rajul Ramesh+Drishya Divakaran, +darshan divakar+Anirudh Pradeep  

22.4.13

Our 5th Birthday..!!

Happy Birthday kootharas..!!

How lovely it was to call each other one of the vulgarous word in the dictionary of malayalam. but thats it..this has become the most pretty cool and lovely name in my dictionary. Cant imagine how fast we got past a 5 year..a wooden anniversary or a touch wood thats perfect "touch wood"..

I always wanted us 4 to cut a cake on this day, but god has not granted a day like that. But i guess if we try hard we can make it once, at-least once in this life..

Its my habit to go back and read the first birthday post on every birthdays of ours which in real aches my heart like a fire blow.. the first days of our friendship..our meetings and roamings..marine drive, Oven, North/South/Aluva Railway stations..the waiting and so on.. i..i dont know how to control the images that slaps me in to intolerable pain.. i failed repeatedly in my approaches to forget it and move on..

life has taken us so far, and see none of us gets time, its the dirty life that takes away everything from us. I know i shouldn't  call it dirty coz it has blessed us with a lot many good things but when it comes to the matter about US.. it really ditched us, it granted us every prayers of us but not a move after that point.. But kootharas, i wish life give you some time from the hustle and bustle to write something in here.. this is the thing.. this was always been that link that connected each of us to US.. this is it that i would call the Umbilical cord of IK4.. that would keep us attached always until we all die.. i love you all. but dont know how to express it or show it or what ever.. i have loved you all just like this from the start i remember..

On our 5th birthday i want us all to write a comment on this post.. just to know that you guys are watching the notice board of our friendship..our life..

Wish us again a very happy birthday..!! 

17.4.13

Will It come back..??

Life is strange..it gives a million pleasant and unpleasant things to each of us..some hurts like hell some sweets as marshmallows..we live every moment unknown only thinking of whats happening at the moment..but at times when we get upset missing certain things that has already gone from our hands..Starting from childhood till today we have met many people, loved many, but not all are in touch with us today.. destiny takes everyone to different ways but the foot marks they printed in our heart aches..its not just people but places, houses, schools, colleges and so many.. we left all these places when it was time to leave..but it was just the raiment out,the soul is still clinging in there as memories..Those days we spent cursing us were the most blessed ones..my first school,my grandpa's house, my old bedroom,my bed, the cute ceiling hangings, my books, my college,my friends and a lot many things..the dark monsoon that rumbled like a hungry beast, the power failure and thick blanket, the candle lite..the long talks and paper boats..the letters that i wrote in the blue papers of "inland letter" to my friends during summer..the ones that i got from a few of them..my god will i get a single day from that time again..i wish..

Memories are the most paining gift of god..the lost days are never gonna come back..life is really short..and i miss everything thats gone..people says i should stop doing it and move on..cause there are more days to come and i should create memories to cherish then in someday in then near of farther future..How strange..how strange everything is..nothings permanent..not a single thing including this..the moments i lost typing these words..

Tathastu..!! 

12.4.13

Awareness

"Having knowledge of" this is what google answered me when i asked the meaning of "awareness". It can be alertness, enlightenment or whatever. Right now i am having an Ice cream, its a pretty hot day and its just taking every pinch of my energy from me..i sleep most of the time like i dont have anything to do..none can complain me but doin it on the climatic change.. Yes so right now i am having an ice cream that costs a 200 buck.. and this sticky frozen stuff is not doing any favor to me but gonna effect my health but still for the sake of pleasure i spent that 200 buck even when i am aware that there are millions on some part of the earth who will take it as a blessing if they get this 200 bucks that i simply wasted melting in my mouth..there are many who starve on the street..i sleep under a cute and cozy roof switching on my fan on high..same time some poor fellows acidic and thirsty trying to find a shade of a tree to help themselves protecting from the monstrous sun that can blow you on fire.. I am aware of these facts and the truth is but whats stopping me from doing things like this..??

while i simply type these words, i am aware that a few of the city police is tracking some criminals, our great soldiers are guarding our country from terrorist attacks or attacks from our enemies on the borders sleepless, some scientist watching on changes within the earth whether some earth quake is gonna happen or volcano's are gonna erupt and great astronomers are keeping their eyes 24/7 on alien attacks or meteor strikes..i am aware about these all things too..but how can i extend an helping hand..?? Not possible, i wonder then why is my mind upset and guilty whenever i do things that pleasures me..??

i spent money on a lot of things, like cloths, books, shoes and accessories, food items drinks and crockery and so on..the list is endless..a few books i havent even touched after buying it so is about a few sandals and cloths..do i give it away..?? No then my mind would shout from behind " no no, you spent this much on this, who knows you will get an occasion to wear it" and i would go back to the women waiting eagerly to collect those old cloths in front of my doors and nod sadly saying Nothings left..!! I am aware how bad that women would have felt, and i am aware i could save those money that i wasted unnecessarily..but this just happens..i always tries to clutch my mind when i am in some stores or shopping malls but it requires a fraction of a second to slip away from the balance..

And whenever i see people cutting trees i am aware that this is inviting a mass destruction. I am aware that there are fraudulent activities going on behind the food and health markets/departments, there are manipulations happening with law n order, there are repackaging of expired drugs and foods happening behind my back and at times when required i only buy it..I am aware of a lot of positive and negative things but i am helpless..i am bound to act against it and many a times my conscience push me to do it but my body wont work..the over awareness had created a numbness within me and nothing could cure it..i surrendered myself before all these sins..even then..?? did i get a solution to get rid of the awareness of the truths and make me capable to battle for it../?? no rather i found out another way..

Be aware of yourselves..be aware of the inner self , listening to my heart beat, trying to listen to my own breaths, listening to the robotic works thats happening unstopingly within me.. I found out a way to be aware of my emotions and actions thus i control it before it become vulnerable.. awareness of my 'self' has created an harness that can take control of everything, everything means every single thing..It also allows freedom, it only controls me for itself..

Yes this is it..be aware of yourself and once every one do this..the whole cycle will motion rhythmically in a good way that produce laughter..not tears..simply escape within your 'SELF'

1.4.13

Fools day..!!

How foolish men are to invent a day for fools..?? its fun..rather it was fun while i was a kid..to fool around and to fool others throwing thousands of tricks..my memory blushes when i think of a few times..a few years..it was fun..we had fun a lott..yes..this day reminds me of that day i laughed my stomach out with jee and poo..humm..!! we earned ear-breaking scolds from their mom but the fun we had worth a heaven..it still makes me laugh..but the faces in my memory looks at me rudely now..they fooled me in reality..they behaved or mimicked as if they were true but they fooled me..it was just their act..act of kindness..act of politeness and love..for true love dont misunderstands..like WE..if a day i do wrong to you, my ik4..i am sure of one thing that , i will have a moment granted by you to prove my innocence.. to listen to the situation that led me to do that mistake..i am sad that the people i believed my own had kicked me out from their lives..it had to happen may be..but its sad!!

Life is short, this facts carving my neurons..we dont see the ones we used to see everyday from a particular day..we dont see those laughing faces constantly doing so..life changes..happiness fades..health decays..bones stiffens..lets dont revenge..lets dont curse..lets dont molest.. Lifes short.. realize it.. move ahead with joy, contently..

Stop fooling..or one day you will be fooled very badly..!!