Concern..!!

The worries for you

Popped out my skin

It grew out into a creepy wart

Ugly as a sepsis

That rooted so deep

That it can’t be drilled off

Or to be burned out

Spurs of reactions breaks out

Whenever i see you running

When i see you striding in irritation

When i see your hands masking your face

When i see lines of wrinkles on your forehead

When i see your lips curve way down

You shared my same room

The darkness of the same womb

The safe heaven beneath

You have had the treasures I left

And you had clung to the same rope

To climb up to explore the globe

Connections are many

Combination the same

Crux being just the one

And concern strong as concrete

Yes I care, I do really care

The very same way you are always there…

My SOUL

Like a white scarf

My soul floated in the air

Moving weightlessly

Following the paths of the winds

Watching the sceneries down

Sooner I traced you

From amid the cottony clouds

Your squeezed look at me, sharp

Penetrated through me

Carving a heart in red

At the middle of my lining chest

My wandering soul found its way final

Falling down in to your arms open

Warm luring and gentle… 

Stealing MINE

Every time she picked

The pebble that I longed for

The crystals that I wished for

The saga seeds that I dreamed of,

Every time she mumbled

The song I sing in my silence

The missed words I try to figure out

The quotes that are my favorites for long time,

Every time she swings around

The steps that I frisk in my private times

The bounces that I put together behind my closed doors

The swirls I thought is only mine,

I would wonder who she is

A piece of my soul resides in another frame?

I yearn for it she have it

I dream for it she accomplish it

I aim for it she achieve it

I loves it she takes it

Crushing my poise in to pieces

That flames like coal for my ego

Stealing every bit of my hidden needs 

Into living forges of my never fulfilled desires...

Beauty at the Core

At the outset of life

The drops of Rain seems

Like the shower of diamonds

The sunset seems

Like the oozing caramel

The night seems

Like a cold dark fudge  

The streets seems

The background of your dreams,

Age and time tarnish the life

Making the outer beauty

Wear and tear in to rust

Reveling the covered core

The real essence, the truest part

That will never obsolete 

“Pure Love”

That neither has a manufacturing date

Nor a date of expiry…

The Rocking Doll

Look at the Rocking doll

That smiling faced Rocking doll

I call her the happy machine

That I admire superfluously

With my eyes gleaming jealously

Chanting about its fortunes

How lucky it is, I would think

That someone made it

With a laughing key 

It giggles at every attempt

Like I tickle on her armpits,

I wish I could just be that

No matter you hurt or hurl it

It laughs like a mad lass

Gracefully at reasons

And awkwardly in my silence

Shortly I found myself

Being a playcraft in reverse

That I became her reason to laugh,

Its chortles bewitched

Echoing in my vacuum 

That drums my wailing heart

Taunting my feelings to it

My cradled hands had to slay it

Before it would attempt

To make a show out of my

Self empathized suicide

And the rocking doll never laughed…

What am I?

I am vast, am I the sky?

Red in the dawn

Blue in the day

Orange in the dusk

Dark in the night,

I am a vast improvised blanket

Where the stars can hide

I am the outstretched ground

Where the birds can herd

I am the mighty strainer

That cools you with the purest drizzles

I am the bright board

That shows the clues of your destiny

I am all theses but

I question me profoundly,

What is my shape?

What is my color?

What is my expansion?

What is my nature?

I evaluated not for the scores

Figuring out my own grandiosity

I am faceless but not permeable

I am shapeless but not a boulder

I am colourless but not transparent

I am vast but not as wide as the space

Yet I inquest me, what am I?

The shapeless, faceless, colourless Me!

Twin Faced

When you are tamed

By life’s misbehaviors

Once promising you a red carpet

And leaving you at a thorn filled path

Once promising you a mansion

And then leaving you homeless

Showing modesty and giving repugnance  

It’s your turn to treat life back

That you are not being mesmerized

By the glittery gimmicks

But you were observing at the 

Shadow behind it dark and dubious 

Of the two faced coward called LIFE...

A Soldier’s heart

 My road to destiny

Took me to the boundaries

Where the songs are played

By the rifles guns and cannons

I detached from my mother

To protect my motherland

And my many siblings face unknown

The former shrink with the pain in her womb

But I was determined not to return

I encountered the bullets and arrows

As if you are throwing those flower petals at me

As you used to do it when it’s only us

Your face distracted my aim

But I clenched down every temptations

Your image mirrored on the full moon

And that brightens my struggling heart

Your fairy smile sooths my wounds

I wished to hear you sound or
just to recollect the memory of it

But the chaos never let it reach me

The cries, roars and shouts of

Human robots falling dead on the earth

I sacrificed my thirst, my hunger

Ensuring no trouble while you dine

I stayed untidy, on my limbs for days and months

Expecting attacks from all corners
I feel happy for being unsafe

Knowing nothing can shield me completely

But still content, for I am right many ways

I find solace in here, in this hood

Where my feelings danced to entertain me…

Contaminated

Expressions vitrified

Face as cold as a stone sculpture

Eyes an awning after a heavy rain

And the lips tremble like a banyan leaf,

Her hips in bruise, red and crimson

Patterned by the finger marks

Of the assailant creature

Pieces of her ripped mahogany

Hair were rolled in the air to the corners

The white linen designed by

The spilled red wine’s stain

Or was that something else

My heart yelped curiously

Her hymen, a cocoon rare

Torn like a moth just born escaped

Her nails broken defending

Her eyes sticked after shedding

The tears of her silenced cries

Pathetic and Unrescued

Lying under a beasts workplace

The white curtains stayed still

Even the moist wind passed through

The dawn seemed hushed

The birds never singed

The cattle’s in the barn

Appeared sedated, hence calm

Evil came roaring

Shredding the locks and bars

And left with a witty grin

Stealing the treasures, both

Embodied and otherwise…

The Striver… the Survived

One who gets up in the morning

To find an empty dining table is pathetic,

One who’s thirsty on a summer noon

Finding an empty wallet is a starver,

One who waits in the park with a bunch of flowers

To find none turn up is wretched,

One who gets back from work

To find his house seized is miserable,

A woman to wake up in a strange place

With a bleed on the bed linen is tortured,

One who wakes up to see

A “good bye “note alongside is a sufferer,

Now for all the situations

Being synonymous and clipped

In between life’s many situations

Like spikes after blossoms,   

Happiness after a grief

Astonishment after hopelessness 

Cheerfulness after anguish

Ecstasy after immense pain,

Once in awhile this is sure

To be encountered

In a same quantity for the beggar

As well as the billionaire,

But you once would turn back
And smile at it

For it has been the pillar

That had held you up from

The never ending crowd

Of  ever flowing human river…

The willow in Love with me

The dark cloak, the long hairs of my own

It clad the half of me till the knee

The wind chilled my sweated foot

And at times the rain soaked it

My heart leaped whenever I see you

Through the crisscrossed window

Half curtained in brown and yellow

 I waited for your one those look

That rise above the railings

Like a scoop of white cream

I swayed my hair whenever you passed me

And wished if you could recognize ma voice

The sparrows, kukus and the nightingales

Sang the love songs one after one

While the wild words in me

Waved like the ravishing tides

Just for you to listen to it

I waited for you, watching your

Empty balcony for a glimpse of you,

Your tries to grasp the undone hair

In the white angelic gown of yours

Smiling at untold words from

Somewhere that reach you like an

Aroma carried away in the breeze

My wholeness craved to possess you

To have your propitious innocence

I cursed the life that I was given

To shade, to warm and to be used everyway

Destined to keep hidden in the hardness

The many emotions that’s alive inward

Failing to let you know what I felt

For I always remained stood

As a dumb, motionless log of wood…

My Spectacular Spectacle B-)

My spectacular spectacle

Third and fourth of my eyes

I should’ve thanked you even before

But never could I realize this

That you are something external

Not the extension of my

Muscles, fleshes and nerves

Would I thank my own part?

I never did it to any of it.

You are but an aid unavoidable

Without you my life would have been

A pallet of messy paints

I would always encounter

Blurry weirdly images

A mix up of everything grounded

And would die believing

That the world is what I have seen

A mess up of blue, green and brown

I am grateful to you

My spectacular spectacle

For I see this beautiful world

As perfectly as everyone else

Through the twin circles of you

Thank you…

Monstrous

The monster that reside in me

The dark ugly goo

As disgusting as a tick sputum

That never let go of my throat

It’s nothing else but my ego

The hungry devil-side of me

I ditch my conscience like a loather

That was jealous and envied anything fair   

Always manage to stood above

Seeking for the throne and bow

Pretending like a dame

So noble and respectable

It becomes wild and vulnerable

To every inabilities of mine

Showcased as someone else’s ability

That burned the pride from the root

Like a forest fires do

I tried to not feed it

I let it starve for some while

But like a rabid giant

It rush out striving

There never has ever

Discovered any remedy to calm

This harmful disorder

For the infection and the cure

Exist in the same dark cave

Reachable to those who hunt for it…

Paused??

At instance everything around

Seems different than as it is

The smaller ones appear big

And the bigger ones small

A pinch would be required

To draw my instincts back

That may at times be ditching

Pretending to be unexisting

Sometimes I wake up in the hollow

Of phobias that hide in some squares of my head

Like from piles of untouched and dusty papers

I would pull one from in between

To have me immersed in the sea of it

I yearn for reasons to myself

About this hindering posture of mine

Am I playing my part perfect?

Or am I dragging it like elastic

I see no land bulging out

Even though I am rowing it rapid

I pray I don’t end up

Eaten by the starving fishes and whales 

Untouched

I bloomed in the orchard

Where lily’s and lavenders

Blossom every day

Consigning the fragrance

To every putrid nostrils

Bugs flies and insects

Approached the way to me

Through the shrubs and bushes

To plunder my essence

But I closed me inward

Like a mischievous mimosa 

Never letting a touch effect me..

Weightlessness

Lessons that I learned

Is quite all alike

My experiences preached

To the self imposed me

Let it go, let go

It’s the choking knots

That keeps you affix

Tear it break it abandon it

When you are heavy

You are prone to sink

You are likely to fall

So let it go let go

As a wafer in the mouth

As a dancer in the stage

As a bird in the sky

As a leaf in the river

Be lite and let it go…

The Heart Shape Space

The heart shape hollow

At the centre of my chest

Grew like a balloon blown

Wide round and lopsided

I carried it along through nights and days

Like my shadow it remained an unseen part

The air inside it roared the songs

Of an abandoned lover in a pouring rain

                                                                                 

Strangers in the way stared there

As if it looked like a profound well

That gets dim over each ring that extended inward

Strange and confusing as time and space 

My gap in heart, clear and wide

Where only a few to dwell in

Waited in despair and anguish

With an inviting sign of “to let”

Like an old wrecked saloon,

People passed a sneak peek

And I sat in a corner like an

Unshaved somber barber

It took my watch to tick for a long

Till I diagnosed the growing defect

That sized like a hot-air balloon

Hungry thirsty and greedy for love

Love kept sedimenting from everywhere

And the space kept developing   

Like a starving monster

Never giving itself a chance to burp

And finally say NO love any more 

Only You

The idol that’s been placed

Of you inside of me

From since you first appear

Grow fonder and close,

The true essence of you

Like an uncut gem

Keeps it real than the breath that I intake

Stay this way, this true way,

I wish you be the king

Of my kingdom

Ruling me like the lion

Of my afforest,

I like it that way, that very real way

Dominated and controlled

Spin and spoiled

But by you, only you...

Redemption

My kohl clad eyes

Smudged like the dark clouds

Over the bright sun

Shielding its golden rays

That’s just ready to violently rain,

The strands of my ebony hair

Swayed across my face

Shading the black on my cheek

My lips trembled for reasons unknown

And I walked in the drizzle

Trespassing my own conscience,

The stench of the wench

Circled in the air

Like hungry vultures above the dead

I held my breath and tried to run

Then when I see this aurora,

A glare of faith that appeared at the pier

Lost in ages and half rumbled

The line of the path to the end

Grew longer like a python

On passing each broken planks,

My runs turned to float

I suddenly was a lite wisp

Absorbed by the light

To the absolute redemption

The final escape…

Sewage in me..!!

In the dungeon of my heart

I swept it all to a part

My longings my love

And my hilarious desires,

It grow like a weed

Squeezing my skin

Like a parasite that mooch

On my merrily smiles,

I wandered around

Through the lanes congested

For the casket of gold

To which I tried to accommodate it all,

It never stopped over flowing

For it kept multiplied

Like something super growing

And uncontrollable,

I fear for this will break out

And fracture the walls of my heart

Whom should I share it with?

Would one take my used feelings?

I am afraid that I am ought to carry it
Like a mump under my cheek

That would arose awes and

People keep me away out of revulsion…

Depth of Mystery

Life sometimes

Shows up as a bowl of misery

Common eyes are blind

To find the mystery behind

It’s just as a layered gift box

You open one after another

In wearily excitement

Tear it all in self exhortation

But getting closer to it

Becomes an uncertainty

That its depth becomes immeasurable

We live and die

Unknowing the layer

On which we are in life after life

We dive out to the wide space

Only to remain confused

For we don’t know where it begins and ends

We are centered by mysteries

Of different sizes and shapes

That we can only question about,

Accepting the failure

Becomes the only refuge

For teaching the heart to

Let mysteries stay mysterious

And we move on in the truck of ‘now’

Seeing the sights on both sides

And droop in to a short nap

Waking up in someone else lap…