31.3.14

Legacy

Why do I yell
After bewitching the scenarios
Like an artist spoil a concert
Shouting like a madman

Emotions mimicked me
As if to an actor going crazy
After his ruined pride
Together his grace

Rotten eggs are thrown at me
As if they caught me red handed
Sneaking in and stealing
The chest of treasure

I am who?
I am the legacy
The richness of yesterday
And the pride of tomorrow
I am ripped and manhandled
The same way they do it
To the strayers 
Merciless and ruthless...

30.3.14

A tiny slice of Soil

I tried to scuffle
Scuffle away from the ghouls
Of invisible rays and radiations
That conquered the world
Like a flu or cholera
Harmful and life threading,
I wish I could nab
A tiny slice of soil
That is still ancient
And safe it with me
In my collectible showcase
And name it an antique,
I look forward for a time
When I can quench my thirst
Tasting the sweetness of purity
Forgetting the heat
From the concrete on which I stand,
The world has grown so old
That it can’t resist
The parasites worms and viruses
That carves it and fed on it
Sucking out the greens 
Leaving cold and dead one day...

29.3.14

Spirit’s Spirit

Suddenly blurred became clear
And actuals became ethereal
My eyes moved slow
Like a grape roll in a platter
Seeing listening and doing
Things inappropriate,
That’s the spirit!
That sparkles in the glasses
That gradually dilutes my blood
It untied my spirits high
And I sweat the precipitate
Of truthful approaches 
Tearing off the masks
That I hide behind
Revealing the nudity
Of my ever protected
Arrogance, self-centeredness
Immaturity and audacity
Making me exposed

As purely as I am just born 

28.3.14

The door to YOU

Ow it’s the beauty
That I see through the key hole
At the centre of your chest
The bright light that pass though it
Beaming on my face
Like the evening sun peep
Through the squares of my window
On the western part of my abode
Where thousand things dwell
My passion my prestige
My actions my visions
My thought my dreams
My imaginations and my instincts
All thrive together as I am nourished
In the spring of the barren earth
Stronger independent and courageous

All to unlock the door to you…

Parenting..!!

Didn’t you notice?
The plants grow towards the sunlight
So do the children
They grow towards the light you show
If bright, they becomes wise
If dark, they turn foul
It is the basement
That keeps the mansion strong
So as the parenting

Defines a person...

27.3.14

Faith & Heart

Sometimes,
Even if you are centered
Amid everything that you wanted,
You still feel you are poor
Sometimes,
Even if you have every fortunes
As much as a king has
You still feel like you are empty
Sometimes,
Even if someone is holding your hand
You will feel abandoned and uncared  
And sometimes,
Even if you breathe and move around
You don’t feel like alive anymore 

The heart always tends to have
The forbidden, restricted and prohibited
And faith always draws the line
At what the heart always tends to have 

26.3.14

Perfections incomplete

As a part of mine sings
The songs of divinity and faith
Another part of me jostled
The unbridled dance
Against the dogmatic factuals
Of wisdom love and compassion
One part seeks the holiness
While the other, reputation
When both take ways opposed
The “I” in me tear apart
And the incomplete parts
Wandered for fullness
Finally meet each other
Giving space to accommodate
The imperfections of them
That made them complete…

25.3.14

Materials

Materials and means
Taunted the survival
My pride tends to sink
In the unbolted boasts,
Metals in yellow and white
Troubled my peace
And I tried to chase them
To reward my obsessions  
I grow obese, I fells down
And had none to pull me up
Until I forsake the heaviness
Of materialistic pleasures
Garnished on my selfish wants
Pushing up the undecorated
Truest part of me- My soul…

Nightmare

The pebbles of many textures
Reflecting rainbow colors
I become a tiny weed
Sprout under the sands bed
Just as I am awake
In to a mysterious nightmare
All alone in a different space
Breathless but with the gills
Drowning but with the fins
Searching for an escape way
From the inglorious realities
That suffocates me
Leaving me panting, 
Dying for air...some fresh air...

24.3.14

First linguistic offspring

Like a ladies undone stock
Words rolled out
Like the first flush of a water fall
From mountains wise so high 

It was locked under the pins
Like a caged circus lion
That noshes on herbs
So miserable and piteous

It wobbled from the cellars
Of the neurons of my brain
Like a captive to prison-break
After a long cursed hostage

Words took control over me
And I transformed in to
The ink and quill myself
My expressions freed out
Irrevocably liberal
Like just born butterflies
And here I am pregnant
To give birth to my 
First linguistic offspring...

20.3.14

Pride

Graceful was she
Golden as a bright sun
As she got brighten
Her pride grow high
Like a wild creeper
Not knowing the fact
That the soil she spit on
Is the place where
She is gonna rest in peace…

19.3.14

The Imprints of Monsoon...!!!

It arrived on an evening
Cladding a grayed scarf
Fanning a cold breeze
Across my innocent face,

I shrilled and shivered
With an open wide eyes
Rolling side to side
With the commuting rain clouds,

The first drip of the rain
Jellied on my cheek
And disappeared rolling down
Like an ice on fire,  

The thunder bolts howled
Like a wolf from afar
And the lightning ghosted
Striking on the wet earth
Like the vigorous arrows   
Of an invisible enemy clan,

The fragrance of the mud
Rustically real lingered in the air
As if someone opened
A new cloth box,

The sound of the rain
Played a classical rhythm
That made the emotions nude
Like a virgin hooker,

The glowworms lined up
Like the soldiers with fire
Drawing fluorescent crisscrosses
And other shapes in the dark,

The rain flies rise up
From the earths underneath
Like freed souls refuge
To the heavens above,

Sensations luring, travels around
Carrying the fragrance of
A craving country delicacy
That melts in the mind
Like a scoop of cream
That I would always wish to taste 
After a guzzled gala feast...

The Saga Seeds

The crimson pearls of saga seeds
Adorn the road like blood spills
It led to the unsojourn reel
Of my seamless limitless lusts,
Some cracked under my foot
Some slipped away
But a few still stuck
In the holes of my boots,
The lump matured vexatious
Turning me limp down my knees
And I dragged myself with it
Through the dark woods of infinity,
Moths of my wisdom
End their momentary being
Failing to fulfill the actions
The causality and intentions of life,
Like the saga seed preserve
My purposes heaped
In the grimy glass jar
Like a little girls possession…

18.3.14

Facial Skins

I wanted to run away
From the untrue faces
Coated with hoaxes
Their silver lining patched
After being ripped out
Innumerable times
They smiled at me
Having dismays behind it
They showed piety
Being ruthless behind their eyes
They comforted me
Chortling loud silently 
I was a fish viewing the sky
From under the ripples
That seemed like a canvas of shades
Falling back in a splash
Disappointed by the deception
Wondering if that was
The fakeness of the world out
Or the chastity of its own world
A layer- a frame, a coating
That reflects imperfections perfectly 

A Blowball Orphan

I am a blowball
That’s detached from
Her pivotal cord
Flying without a direction
Or a destination foreseen  
Languidly lazily like a
River flowing ripple less
Without an identity-
A race, tribe or a flock,
I was separated from my cluster
That I know nothing about
Believing that existence
Existed this way,
I got exhausted waiting
For my progenitors to come,
I got lost in my efforts
To discover my own roots,
But all I encountered was
The mocking face of my own faith,
I unloaded my yearnings
In the clay clad loam
And walked away
Lacking a sensible conclusion
Accepting the name they call me-
An unwanted straying Orphan…

14.3.14

A wasps Hive

A solitaires spark
It hitched on my conscience
And it spread through me
As if it liquefied and conduit
Through the channel of
Unforfeitable inclinations,
My impulses became Intolerable
And I curled towards my heart
To find a perfect place to exile
Where millions of my fretted dreams
Coiled like an abandoned wasps hive
Frozen firm and flinty 

13.3.14

Your Grin

How will I convey
How will I let you know?
Your jingling giggles
And the shuddering tiny steps
Creates the blow bubble-like
Feeling of motherliness
Germinating from needy soil 
My eyes grow round
Whenever I see you
Trying your whole to
Put the next step
And you gum smile
On your successions
When you would fall
Sitting on the floor
Pissing pooping and ruing
My exaggerated exposures
Still not exploiting the warmth
At the centre of my somewhere
With that raised brow grin
That’s as strong as a fire

Capable to flame my entire world…

10.3.14

The Paradise of My Dreams..!!

Some part of me was proud for i know almost all of the famous and infamous places in the world even though i haven't been to the majority of it. I was boasting out for my theoretical knowledge. the truth was i literally didn't get any chance to use my passport which is going to expire next year. When i finally know that we are confirming to travel abroad i tap on my left chest quietening the loudness of my heart thumping at what my ears heard. From then i was preparing myself to face a lot of experiences that was meant to by pass my way. Flying, first and important. i could never imagine the view of one seeing the earth from the sky, i remember i have many times envied the birds that sky-dived above my head and the times when me and my friends tried to overtake the aircraft flying far above us and failing finding it disappearing in the clouds. We used to talk about the lucky people travelling in it.

About the place, i only had the expectation of seeing the normal beaches in my native which is presented nicely photo shopping it by contrasting it with bright and shimmering shades of green and blue.. I have seen many brochures of the local beaches in my native disguised in brighter better forms, nick naming it emerald beaches and so on just to gain attention from foreign tourists. But i wanted to know how it will be like to live in a tiny piece of land floating on the three fourth of the earth's area which is water. Above the vast world submerged.

I packed some cloths, anti-tanning lotions, sunglasses, water proof pants and a couple of my secret wishes. I was thrilled and excited to have the experience of detaching my foot  from the surface of earth. This has never happened before, at least not this way. I remained quite in between the laughs and talks of my friends. "I am gonna fly, gonna fly high..above the clouds where the sun rise" i sing this, my own words in my mind. Checked in and boarded, clipped the seat belts too. He made me sit on the windows side for he wanted me to have the entire feeling of how it happens while flying. I slightly hyperventilated without my own permission but then his pat on my shoulder calmed me. I turned to face him and he winked, that was all my heart wanted to confront any disaster. The wheels rolled, fast, fast, faster and folded its legs under the case of its wings..i opened my eyes tight so that my brain records every visuals, from the slanting movement right after the take off penetrating though different spheres of the atmosphere until it is steady and straight. My face was fixed on the window, grasping every single pictures of the cottony clouds puffy and fluffy. It looked like a white mattress on which one would wish to fall after a tiring day. Even after everyone in the flight fall back to a nap i couldn't stop me from admiring the gods creativity . Everything properly in place. Every system patterned perfectly. I captured a few visuals and colour contrasts which i thought would paint it in my canvas once. after a good amount of time i started spotting ship-like things down in the ocean, the numbers increased, the colour of the sea changed, from that greyish-green to a nice green..and there it was, my first sight of a baby island, an islet, shining as a powdered diamond, so brightly white and magnificent. I could make it that it was floating, like a caramel custard in the caramel syrup, a little bulged sand bank on which nicely built wooden cottage, the architecture feed the eyes a grand feast. some looked like a palm, some looked like eye, some looked like snake..wow was the only world that my mouth could utter that moment. The colour of the ocean changed from green to blue, blue to aqua, aqua to azure and azure to turquoise. My lips turned to O "awe-ing" the beauty of this crumbles of land  fallen-from  the heaven. I have no other words than calling it a "paradise".

To Live in an islet is the best life i would choose ever. It offers freedom from the most modern technologies. Nothing would pop up to disturb the serenity spreader in you from the silver sands smeared on your feet. Its literally getting lost. Out of everything live and dead in the head. All we know is what that happens right on that moment. The people showed that extra courtesy that you will feel invited even after visiting there for the hundredth time. A week spent there is like a few days sleeping and seeing wonderful dreams uninterrupted. the one fourth of the solid earth can be beautiful but the rest of it inside the liquid is mesmerizing, not only the colourfulness but the calmness, the peace and tranquillity. For the first time in life, i felt the magic of weightlessness, a complete relief, from the aches and echoes that always followed me, i escaped in to myself , listening to me functioning from inside. I never know that the hands of him is no longer holding my back, i was as light as a paper boat that i used to sail in the rain water, yawing, heaving, surging and swaying. Time unknown, i could hear the rippling sound of the vastness, so soothing. I could feel little fishes cruising under me. As if i am awake from a deep deep sleep i opened my eyes slowly, i couldn't control the ecstasy, i could only see the clear blue sky, making it feel like i lying on the top most point of the world, i wasn't sure that i was even cast away, but nothing disturbed me from enjoying that one time offer of life.

Crystal water every where. and peaks of white sandy islets. we travelled in boat, fished at night, barbecued it. The rules they followed were respectable. They don't do net fishing and welcome mass destruction of species instead, line fishing which don't kill tomorrows food and it is even prohibited to kill sharks rays and other big fishes as they thinks it is the attraction of their country.The way they preserve things is appreciable.  We were lucky to have a shark nailed but then it was released. Patience plays the heroes role. We waited in the boat... in  the darkness... in silence for about 2 hours until we get a snapper fish for meal. Live aboard boats were dotted here and there in the ocean and the sky as dark as a black shawl embroidered with silver sequins. Spending time after dinner, laid back on a wire recliner was another nice experience. The guys chit-chatted puffing the smoke while i indulged in the embraces of the breeze, listening to the song of the sea, that tune like an half forgotten old melody.

One thing i cannot forget is again the New Years eve. This time, more privileged. A party with music on the sand, a very private affair...with just a few luckiest people on the earth and i was one among them. the booze- the under sand buried old ones, rich in every ways. When the clocks needles tick for the last time in the old year and stood towards "12:00", the group of unknown, different coloured and costumed people uttered wishes, welcoming the New Year in unison so loud that it might have reached the heavens above. I noticed people were so robotic that in another five minutes everyone was back at their seats or positions continuing the same part, precisely at the point they stopped before, like the second part of the movie after an interval. The songs became groovy from shallow and women men girls and guys moved according to the beat in a similar way. I was overwhelmed in internal pleasure. One of the times when  i realize that my world is just me, i would feel like an alien in an abandoned planet with some gothic sounds echoing loud. This is when i realize that the beauty exists in "nothingness", in complete weightlessness, buried under ones flesh and blood.

It was starry. and i longed for him to lie down with me on the sand, while the satin waves linger our feet to the curve of our back. How romantic it would be to have a warn kiss, having him on my top for a few minutes and then open my eyes to see the stars of different ages stalking at us jealously. the wish remained a wish but i had a friend for my company. She was so nice that we chit-chatted lying on the sand staring at the dark but gleaming sky. We shared our dreams and views and could find that we had plans alike. it was really relaxing to have some feministic conversation with her and a lot about the institution of  marriage. Its not just for gossips women opens their mouth but for real things too at times. all that is required is a good heart, an unegoistic and incomparable mind set.

The talks became mumbles and silence defeated the words. the guys were behaving as if the words is "just now" and nothing else existed. They literally used the time to that extend as a rapist to a women. :) having every bit not sparing a lash of the eye. In between i had some one beaming over my head and it was him, when i turn aside she was gone leaving her mould on the sand. he made me sit and said something in my ears, his warmth puffed on my neck and in an instance we were escaped towards the end of the island, the deserted part of the islet the party hunks might have thought is unattractive, which was as sultry as a mermaid under the star lit sky. The breeze cuddled us from all sides, my hair swayed high n down and he helped me gather it, some sensual glands started to work within and then it was his turn to land his lips on mine. The first act of his love of the year..

We walked back to the loudness as nothing happened and i lied down in the sand again while he melted in to his circle of friends. The sound of the music travelled afar from me, and suddenly muteness took place the beats. the sand under my body moved apart in two split groups and i was pulled back in the slight wetness of it. i gazed in to my own past and picked a few shells from it. It loitered in there for a few minutes and i could visualize certain things uninterrupted. i wasn't bothered about whether i was missing something cause i just wanted to have all this good moments to myself. i was available to share it with my man but he was up with something else. So I thought i would leave him alone this time and let him have his friends time peacefully. i was feeling drowsy, not by the shorts of liquor but by the sweetness of my childish childhood memories. felt glad that i got a medium like this to cherish it...

Gazing at the rainbows that appears at times after a summer drizzle used to be an amazing sight. the seven coloured arch always appeared like a fantasy bridge. it wiggled my heart and used to literally take it away. It acted as the pathway to the imaginary island of mine own, where i kept alive a few supporting characters and the one. I would picturize the orchards, huts and boats from the stories i had listened and then pick it and paste it in my world. it was my paradise for some good time of my childhood and teenage. I would vanish from the reality and spent my time mostly in there. where i had my prince charming waiting sadly after every time i descent back from him. i had my first acts of love in there, far away from the real world, secretly, where none other than me could ever enter. the safest place to do what ever i wished to do. :) :) :) Now that i am here amid the bluness of the seas, i realized, in my childhood i was plundering some bits from these lovely days...this was where i used to disappear to...how miraculous, now i believe in both statements, one- yes dreams may come true, two- sometimes in life we happen to visualize our future before head in someways, it may come as dreams or visions or as concious imaginations.

I am completely unaware about what happened next. Some local noises made me wake up from the sleep. I felt strange, i tried the hell out of me to pick up incidents that's hiding under my unconsciousness. Nothing came up but as the spirit were washed out gradually, i was as clear as this sunny sky about the New Years Eve. I had a quick shower and got out of my room to join the guys. The final day and night ran out of my hands like a blowball, so quick and high in a fraction of a second.

In the morning, with no interest we waved good bye to the "Paradise of My dreams". Something burned at the centre of my chest. Without a turning back we sailed back in the boat with an aching heart. it was like someone forcefully woken me up from a nice dream. I was back from it and was both inspective and introspective. The hot sun and the cold salty water had me wet from all over many times , though not a good combination will always thrill me. I found the golden suns unfair act on me, it enclosed me with a layer of dark skin, a tan that i really didnt ask for, but then my mind whispered, let it be there, take it back as a souvenir unpaid...

7.3.14

My Mom-A friend, A guide, A teacher

Mom, I miss how you pampered me
When you time passed making up me
I miss us being more of friends
I miss the way I fell asleep on your lap
When you ruffle your fingers through my hair,
I miss how you looked at me at times
Wondering in sadness how quick I had grown
I miss how we used to argue and fight for simple things
And then patch up with a burst of laughter,
I respect, for you always reads my mind
And guides me like a guardian angel
Never letting me stumble or trip
Upon something that would cause harm,
I regret for the times I made you cry
Overreacting for the simplest things
Making you a material to relieve my rage
On matters something else,
I would always miss your that smile
That wides out when you do stupid deeds
Where I would feel you like my daughter
Rather than I am yours,
And finally I owe you for life
For constructing me this way
Strong enough to break any hardness
Soft enough to melt any metal
Courageous enough to move on any path
And determined enough to be righteous always…

Love you Mom…!!!

Today Morning

The gloomy sky welcomed me
Sending the winds to shrill me
It whispered the episodes
From my own forgotten leafs
The mist in the air
Shivered me inward
Like it was searching for
Images haunting
That linger through the
Unconsciousness of mine, 
I wanted to siege it
Pressing down the sprouting
And unwanted reminiscences 
But it grow like a twister
Swirling out from my centre
Leaping to connect the haze
To become a cause for
Destruction massive
The warrior in me refused to forfeit
Battled through the heights
Uncovering the golden radiance 
That removed both the mist in the air
And the smog that spread in my mind…

4.3.14

Caged in the Cave of…

Voices echoed
Like a path finder
Of my tomorrows today
Steer me through the
Shrubs and bushes
Of my ups and downs
That brushes my face
Awakening me from
The lengthy day dreams,
The moisture bumped up
Like tiny balls of translucent crystals  
Mate with the beads of my sweat
And dripped down combined
Like a symmetric plummet 
The voices take shape
Into silhouette visions
That guides me through
The shortcuts to triumph
But somewhere it interrupts
-The selfish surges
That mislead to an enormous cave
Where the hidden treasures kept
Where the thoughts refuges
The sanctuary where the emotions saunter
And I became deaf at the voices
Blind at the visions
And dumb at the shortcuts
I was at utmost bliss
Cause I was caged in Love
Caged in the cave of immaculacy… 

Unguaranteed Me

It happens for me as well
My antenna stops taking signals
My battery beeps out of charge
My system switches off out of energy
I go down, I get damaged
All I need is a repairing
A smiling face to reenergize me
A glowing eye to turn my system on,
Sometimes I wish if
People shows a little of it
A concerns bit to the unguaranteed me
The alive, self controlling robot                        
More efficient and well performing
Flesh covered android
That works on emotions
Rather than electric current,
Don’t I worth an adoring pat?
Can’t I have a respectful grin?
Won’t you sacrifice the plastic pieces, 
Wires pins and plugs
For the breathing Me? 

3.3.14

Excessive something…


I struggled like the dried corns
In the sizzling pan
Gasping for breath
In the love that I am sunken
By they by them and by everyone
I popped out hot and white
Hitting on the warm walls
Panting hard for an escape way
But why do I get away
What’s the error I see?
I cannot convince
The saint settled in me
That argues, that demands
I am just over pampered
I am just being loved
I am just creamed inside
For what I have had the long hunt
How can I ever be full or
Choking by the consideration, concern and care… 

Conflicts

As the sand in the wind
That refused to be moved away
I stayed still, my roots firm
My mind, body and soul
As ice cubes in a tray
Remained the same way,
Conflicts occurred from rear to top
But I stayed there the same way
Immovable like in a battlefield
Least bothered about
The bitterest consequences... 

2.3.14

Weakheart

Smeared in a puddle of
The stickiness of my own awe
Every attempts failing
To take out the stuck foot
With that goat skin boot
Some force pulling me down
Making me drawn
My power become as breakable
As a fragile vase of glass
My feelings tangible
And rigid as a rock
They scrutinize my being
My way of taking myself
When I struggle to free
My legs out of the hardening
Soil of futile trials...

1.3.14

Home of our dreams..!!

I watched the ants stroll 
In a wavy line of hope
Coping every damage
Following the signals
I have seen the foreigners
The bird’s nonnative
 Nestling in my pine tress
And disappear some day
I have seen the stray dogs
Barking fighting playing
Once in my street and
Some other day somewhere
Here we duplicate them
Sacking up our dreams
And letting our memories
Loiter in the air of that house
Where we lived the dreams
Of our Lover selves true
Good bye home, our sweet home...

Impermanent

When hopes are down
Things go worst
Feelings are hurt
And hearts broken
Hold on to life
Cling on the edge
Though even slippery,
A better after the good, Like
An emerald after the pearl
An oasis after the sand
A shade after the heat
Can be just a yard away,
Life’s like a cobblestone
Everything looks the same
Identical with differences
With a dissimilar propagation
Or a hump or a hole,
Ahead is where the solution
Stays, so cling on to the edge
And push yourself up
For nothing stays long
Not even the greatest grief’s…