The Paradise of My Dreams..!!

Some part of me was proud for i know almost all of the famous and infamous places in the world even though i haven't been to the majority of it. I was boasting out for my theoretical knowledge. the truth was i literally didn't get any chance to use my passport which is going to expire next year. When i finally know that we are confirming to travel abroad i tap on my left chest quietening the loudness of my heart thumping at what my ears heard. From then i was preparing myself to face a lot of experiences that was meant to by pass my way. Flying, first and important. i could never imagine the view of one seeing the earth from the sky, i remember i have many times envied the birds that sky-dived above my head and the times when me and my friends tried to overtake the aircraft flying far above us and failing finding it disappearing in the clouds. We used to talk about the lucky people travelling in it.

About the place, i only had the expectation of seeing the normal beaches in my native which is presented nicely photo shopping it by contrasting it with bright and shimmering shades of green and blue.. I have seen many brochures of the local beaches in my native disguised in brighter better forms, nick naming it emerald beaches and so on just to gain attention from foreign tourists. But i wanted to know how it will be like to live in a tiny piece of land floating on the three fourth of the earth's area which is water. Above the vast world submerged.

I packed some cloths, anti-tanning lotions, sunglasses, water proof pants and a couple of my secret wishes. I was thrilled and excited to have the experience of detaching my foot  from the surface of earth. This has never happened before, at least not this way. I remained quite in between the laughs and talks of my friends. "I am gonna fly, gonna fly high..above the clouds where the sun rise" i sing this, my own words in my mind. Checked in and boarded, clipped the seat belts too. He made me sit on the windows side for he wanted me to have the entire feeling of how it happens while flying. I slightly hyperventilated without my own permission but then his pat on my shoulder calmed me. I turned to face him and he winked, that was all my heart wanted to confront any disaster. The wheels rolled, fast, fast, faster and folded its legs under the case of its wings..i opened my eyes tight so that my brain records every visuals, from the slanting movement right after the take off penetrating though different spheres of the atmosphere until it is steady and straight. My face was fixed on the window, grasping every single pictures of the cottony clouds puffy and fluffy. It looked like a white mattress on which one would wish to fall after a tiring day. Even after everyone in the flight fall back to a nap i couldn't stop me from admiring the gods creativity . Everything properly in place. Every system patterned perfectly. I captured a few visuals and colour contrasts which i thought would paint it in my canvas once. after a good amount of time i started spotting ship-like things down in the ocean, the numbers increased, the colour of the sea changed, from that greyish-green to a nice green..and there it was, my first sight of a baby island, an islet, shining as a powdered diamond, so brightly white and magnificent. I could make it that it was floating, like a caramel custard in the caramel syrup, a little bulged sand bank on which nicely built wooden cottage, the architecture feed the eyes a grand feast. some looked like a palm, some looked like eye, some looked like snake..wow was the only world that my mouth could utter that moment. The colour of the ocean changed from green to blue, blue to aqua, aqua to azure and azure to turquoise. My lips turned to O "awe-ing" the beauty of this crumbles of land  fallen-from  the heaven. I have no other words than calling it a "paradise".

To Live in an islet is the best life i would choose ever. It offers freedom from the most modern technologies. Nothing would pop up to disturb the serenity spreader in you from the silver sands smeared on your feet. Its literally getting lost. Out of everything live and dead in the head. All we know is what that happens right on that moment. The people showed that extra courtesy that you will feel invited even after visiting there for the hundredth time. A week spent there is like a few days sleeping and seeing wonderful dreams uninterrupted. the one fourth of the solid earth can be beautiful but the rest of it inside the liquid is mesmerizing, not only the colourfulness but the calmness, the peace and tranquillity. For the first time in life, i felt the magic of weightlessness, a complete relief, from the aches and echoes that always followed me, i escaped in to myself , listening to me functioning from inside. I never know that the hands of him is no longer holding my back, i was as light as a paper boat that i used to sail in the rain water, yawing, heaving, surging and swaying. Time unknown, i could hear the rippling sound of the vastness, so soothing. I could feel little fishes cruising under me. As if i am awake from a deep deep sleep i opened my eyes slowly, i couldn't control the ecstasy, i could only see the clear blue sky, making it feel like i lying on the top most point of the world, i wasn't sure that i was even cast away, but nothing disturbed me from enjoying that one time offer of life.

Crystal water every where. and peaks of white sandy islets. we travelled in boat, fished at night, barbecued it. The rules they followed were respectable. They don't do net fishing and welcome mass destruction of species instead, line fishing which don't kill tomorrows food and it is even prohibited to kill sharks rays and other big fishes as they thinks it is the attraction of their country.The way they preserve things is appreciable.  We were lucky to have a shark nailed but then it was released. Patience plays the heroes role. We waited in the boat... in  the darkness... in silence for about 2 hours until we get a snapper fish for meal. Live aboard boats were dotted here and there in the ocean and the sky as dark as a black shawl embroidered with silver sequins. Spending time after dinner, laid back on a wire recliner was another nice experience. The guys chit-chatted puffing the smoke while i indulged in the embraces of the breeze, listening to the song of the sea, that tune like an half forgotten old melody.

One thing i cannot forget is again the New Years eve. This time, more privileged. A party with music on the sand, a very private affair...with just a few luckiest people on the earth and i was one among them. the booze- the under sand buried old ones, rich in every ways. When the clocks needles tick for the last time in the old year and stood towards "12:00", the group of unknown, different coloured and costumed people uttered wishes, welcoming the New Year in unison so loud that it might have reached the heavens above. I noticed people were so robotic that in another five minutes everyone was back at their seats or positions continuing the same part, precisely at the point they stopped before, like the second part of the movie after an interval. The songs became groovy from shallow and women men girls and guys moved according to the beat in a similar way. I was overwhelmed in internal pleasure. One of the times when  i realize that my world is just me, i would feel like an alien in an abandoned planet with some gothic sounds echoing loud. This is when i realize that the beauty exists in "nothingness", in complete weightlessness, buried under ones flesh and blood.

It was starry. and i longed for him to lie down with me on the sand, while the satin waves linger our feet to the curve of our back. How romantic it would be to have a warn kiss, having him on my top for a few minutes and then open my eyes to see the stars of different ages stalking at us jealously. the wish remained a wish but i had a friend for my company. She was so nice that we chit-chatted lying on the sand staring at the dark but gleaming sky. We shared our dreams and views and could find that we had plans alike. it was really relaxing to have some feministic conversation with her and a lot about the institution of  marriage. Its not just for gossips women opens their mouth but for real things too at times. all that is required is a good heart, an unegoistic and incomparable mind set.

The talks became mumbles and silence defeated the words. the guys were behaving as if the words is "just now" and nothing else existed. They literally used the time to that extend as a rapist to a women. :) having every bit not sparing a lash of the eye. In between i had some one beaming over my head and it was him, when i turn aside she was gone leaving her mould on the sand. he made me sit and said something in my ears, his warmth puffed on my neck and in an instance we were escaped towards the end of the island, the deserted part of the islet the party hunks might have thought is unattractive, which was as sultry as a mermaid under the star lit sky. The breeze cuddled us from all sides, my hair swayed high n down and he helped me gather it, some sensual glands started to work within and then it was his turn to land his lips on mine. The first act of his love of the year..

We walked back to the loudness as nothing happened and i lied down in the sand again while he melted in to his circle of friends. The sound of the music travelled afar from me, and suddenly muteness took place the beats. the sand under my body moved apart in two split groups and i was pulled back in the slight wetness of it. i gazed in to my own past and picked a few shells from it. It loitered in there for a few minutes and i could visualize certain things uninterrupted. i wasn't bothered about whether i was missing something cause i just wanted to have all this good moments to myself. i was available to share it with my man but he was up with something else. So I thought i would leave him alone this time and let him have his friends time peacefully. i was feeling drowsy, not by the shorts of liquor but by the sweetness of my childish childhood memories. felt glad that i got a medium like this to cherish it...

Gazing at the rainbows that appears at times after a summer drizzle used to be an amazing sight. the seven coloured arch always appeared like a fantasy bridge. it wiggled my heart and used to literally take it away. It acted as the pathway to the imaginary island of mine own, where i kept alive a few supporting characters and the one. I would picturize the orchards, huts and boats from the stories i had listened and then pick it and paste it in my world. it was my paradise for some good time of my childhood and teenage. I would vanish from the reality and spent my time mostly in there. where i had my prince charming waiting sadly after every time i descent back from him. i had my first acts of love in there, far away from the real world, secretly, where none other than me could ever enter. the safest place to do what ever i wished to do. :) :) :) Now that i am here amid the bluness of the seas, i realized, in my childhood i was plundering some bits from these lovely days...this was where i used to disappear to...how miraculous, now i believe in both statements, one- yes dreams may come true, two- sometimes in life we happen to visualize our future before head in someways, it may come as dreams or visions or as concious imaginations.

I am completely unaware about what happened next. Some local noises made me wake up from the sleep. I felt strange, i tried the hell out of me to pick up incidents that's hiding under my unconsciousness. Nothing came up but as the spirit were washed out gradually, i was as clear as this sunny sky about the New Years Eve. I had a quick shower and got out of my room to join the guys. The final day and night ran out of my hands like a blowball, so quick and high in a fraction of a second.

In the morning, with no interest we waved good bye to the "Paradise of My dreams". Something burned at the centre of my chest. Without a turning back we sailed back in the boat with an aching heart. it was like someone forcefully woken me up from a nice dream. I was back from it and was both inspective and introspective. The hot sun and the cold salty water had me wet from all over many times , though not a good combination will always thrill me. I found the golden suns unfair act on me, it enclosed me with a layer of dark skin, a tan that i really didnt ask for, but then my mind whispered, let it be there, take it back as a souvenir unpaid...